Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Some things are meant to jiggle..
Buildings in San Fransisco.
Pudding before it, you know...... pudds..
The handle of a running toilet.
Undercooked eggs at IHOP.
The family budget.
Ah ha - that's the one...BABY bellies. Cute. Adorable even.
Not so much when it's my belly.
And, until very recently, I hadn't really noticed my belly jiggling. It was too faaa...uh..too fuuu...too... BIG.
And it was tight. You know, like when you have a full water balloon...that can't jiggle because it's too full.
Firm-in- a-not-good-way firm??
The other day I was wearing my now-too-big-for-me-jeans-but-I'm-too-cheap-to-buy-
in-between-jeans..you know the ones...(I can actually pull them up & down to go potty without un-zipping them..) Hey....Grown-up "pull-ups"! I know...TMI..
OK, so....someone made me laugh in a meeting.
All of a sudden I felt this.......jiggle.
Oh. My. Heck.
What was that??? Embarrassingly, I knew....I KNEW..it was my not-so-tight-belly. 38 lbs. gone and obviously I hadn't found anything funny enough to actually make it...jiggle ...before...
Lordy, Lordy. What now?? Stop laughing?? Surgery?? EXERCISE, for goodness sakes??
Then I remembered something I wore, and that I saw my Mother wear...a girdle!
If I got one tight enough..and if I knew the law of physics..I could aim all that too-big-for-me-skin ...somehow... up..up...up..
And, if I could figure out the mechanics of it all, I could have....boo...ah...hoote..bossoms... again!
Course, then it would be just this one...massive... mammary. A uni-boob..
...finally, a use for all those "tube tops" of the 70's...
Somehow, I don't see that actually happening.
Ah well...maybe all those stars I have been wishing on were actually airplanes...
Happy Jiggle-free Thursday to you.
Now, do not make me laugh..