Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Remember Crepe Paper??

Yeah - the kind you twisted into hanging streamers every birthday party- the school dance and baby showers?

When blue and pink were used 'cos they didn't KNOW what kind of baby they were having?

Doctor: "Oh look! It's a girl"

Me: "I always wanted a girl!"

Doctor: "Don't you already have one girl??"

Me: "Yes...and 2 boys in-between...like I said..I always wanted A girl."

Yeah that stuff. The crepe paper...please keep up...

Haven't seen the actual crepe paper around - no kids at home to decorate for and if I did it for Mr. B's birthday , I'd be the one to have to clean it up..boy, am I getting lazier or what??

How about Kleenex flowers? Those were great - especially to put on newlywed's cars...along with the crape paper..or wear to Catholic Mass on our heads to simulate a hat...do they even DO that anymore..have to cover their heads?? Wear hats?? oops..I mean, last time I went to Mass....heehee


Anyway, last night I spotted crepe paper. Now, one would think that'd be a little joy to see it again...

But there was no joy on Main Street...nope, not even a little...the crepe paper I saw is on MY ARMS!

Yeeeah..the underside of my arms - when did this happen? WHY did this happen? How did the skin seem to shrink when I haven't lost that much weight?

I lotion up all year 'round. I use a good shower soap...

and what the heck IS crepe paper anyway???

Google. If I had stock in that search engine, I could retire my wrinkly arms.. I Googled "crepe paper" and this is what I found...

Noun 1. crepe paper - paper with a crinkled texture; usually colored and used for decorations..

DUH...no flies on you , Google...

..but... what IS crepe paper?

crepe paper - a material made of cellulose pulp derived mainly from wood or rags or certain grasses

Paper that is creped is produced on a paper machine that have a single large steam heated drying cylinder (yankee) fitted with a hot air hood. The raw material is paper pulp. The yankee cylinder is sprayed with adhesives to make the paper stick. Creping is done by the yankee's doctor blade that is scraping the dry paper of the cylinder surface. The crinkle (creping) is controlled by the strength of the adhesive, geometry of the doctor blade, speed difference between the yankee and final section of the paper machine and paper pulp characteristics

nevermind. Geesh.

Seriously, I will now be the "Decorated Version" of my pre-sixty self. Oh yay. Oi vey.

Just one more thing to be excited about...sha boom.

Here's Julie Andrew's tribute to getting older - sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

I will remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

She received a 4-minute ovation...and, I do believe she wore a long-sleeved dress.




diane said...

You are a scream. Soooo funny. Hey I have crepe paper under my arms too. Thanks for bringing that to my attantion!!!

Lucy said...

You know of course that it's impossible to read that song without singing it in your head. So funny though. I needed crepe paper for something not long ago and said I'd 'just go out to get some'. I almost had a meltdown trying to find some. Sheesh!

Betty said...

Hey, 'rebels' like crepe paper, too..haha.

I told my doctor my only complaint is gravity. He said why not go into outer space where there is none. Then I got this mental picture of all my loose skin just flapping around me...eek! Decided staying with gravity is the better choice!

Vee said...

Not again?! Hahahaha...

white o'morn cottage said...

That's great! ...just something else to look forward to!

Jean said...

Tooo funny! We were just talking about my son (very young at the time) playing with my Grandmother's arm flap on a trip to bring her home from Florida. I suppose the weight of the flap would pull out the wrinkles. So here's the question: Would you rather have crepe paper arms or arm flaps? LOL!!
also pushing 60! Jean

madrekarin said...

Bahahahaha! Oh, wait. My crepe paper is on my neck. Ack!

Debra said...

What a cute blog you have! And I wanted to thank you so much for your condolences over at my blog. They meant so much to me. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you will keep reading. Blessings, Debra

Julie said...

Crepe paper arms - too funny! And someone sent me the Julie Andrews song, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I myself have really crepey skin on my hands! Yish!

Charmingdesigns said...

Yes, I noticed I would rather be hot then wear sleeveless shirts...when did that happen??? When I see M.Obama with all the hoopla about her arms...She does NOT have crepe paper arms, she should enjoy going sleeveless, I know for one...I'm jealous of her arms.LOL Laurie

Mary said...

Just when I think I know what you're going to say about crepe paper, you throw one out of left field. Crepe paper arms!!!! You are the best! I will laugh all day about this one! Oh and my stomach sort of resembles wavy crepe paper with the stretch marks.

Neabear said...

Another funny! This and all the comments had me laughing. Loved the song and yes I was singing along as I read it too. LOL! I need to print that one out and take it to work. I work in a skilled nursing facility where we have lots of walkers, glasses, false teeth and such. And a lot of crepe paper arms too. I do exercise with my patients to strenghten that part of our anatomy. I bet from now on I will say "Ok ladies, let's work on our crepe paper arms now". Bet they won't know what I am talking about.