Monday, February 16, 2009

Wha the????

Hmmm...I tried to make a few "changes" on my blog in Blogger - and one change that was made was not mine - or my intention..

Some of the blogs I had saved and were in my listing of "Blogs that inspire me" are no longer there - but I sometimes don't realize it until I run into the blog again and think "Where is it?? I haven't read that one in a while?!"

If I did decide to un-list you, or un-friend you, I would have gone to your blog and told you why..

..or ignored your phone calls, or didn't answer the door when you stopped by..or tried to run you over with my car-

Just messin' with you on that last one..

There have been people that have left my life - either on their terms or mine..guess that goes without saying.

I guess it's that our lives go into different directions - we came together because of a mutual episode..or a life-altering change (like my cancer) ..or job, city, kids the same age, etc. but we move on..

Some friends are just plain 'ol fun-suckers. I guess that they are not really friends to begin with - just acquaintances..but, crushers of my happy once too often.

Some have made me happy just by their leaving..but many more by their continued friendship.

I have 2 sister who have friends - good friends- and I think it's because they are good friends back..

I feel I have good Internet friends. I'm pretty much a home-body and I really REALLY like the company of Mr. B and the pups and my cozy little home.

The kids think I'm pretty..ah, what's the word..BORING.

I will think it's a great idea to go to a movie or shopping with a friend, but when the actual times comes, I'm bummed because I have to leave my comforts. So, I usually don't make the commitment at all...

Everyone who knows me thinks it's weird that I am sooo happy in my quiet little world of work over in the new cubicle with no one around to chat (gossip?) with.

But I SOOO am. It's quiet. I don't have to talk. My mouth is happy. My brain is happy to just have to think of one thing at a time - either the phones or the emails I need to answer. I love eating by myself, watching the constructions and the big-rigs move dirt and dig holes..

I can stretch, wear tape on my forehead, do my neck exercises (AEE..EEE..EYE..OWE..YOU) and not look totally stupid..OK, maybe stupid if the digger-workers could see me, but they can't.

If I want to listen to music, I can (streaming on my computer) or I can have it totally quiet with the only sound is the keys clinking on the keyboard. Oh yea, and the phones..

But really, it can be totally .....silent.

Except of course, in my head..that voice NevEr shuts up...

One time, at another company, I was asked to fly in to Detroit and "spy" on one of the retail operations we had to see what I could see..

No one was to know that I was there - kind of like Agent 18~20W.......Oh Mr. B knew I was there, but no one else really.

So for a week - I didn't speak to a soul... maybe the occasional "Hellllooo!" to the room-cleaners (hate saying "Maids" ...although that's probably not a bad word..just makes me feel like I'm putting them down..which I am totally's is their job title I now I'm rambling..again)

That was about 14 years ago and I thought I would go CRaZy! Some one actually spotted me, recognized me and I went running away..seriously..running while they were yelling in the mall "Is that YOU Colleen??" I felt I was busted, but it was only my 3rd. day and I didn't want to fail in my mission..I never acknowledged the person.. and after that, there were "Colleen sightings" in every mall in the I a dork or what??!

I think I'd enjoy that now. Can one fake loosing their voice? I could carry around a little chalk board and write down that I'm sorry, but my voice coach said I was not to speak for a month..

OK, so, focus Colleen....if you used to see your site listed, and now it's not, pah-lleeze let me know! I am slowly going through all my bookmarks and finding which one's are missing from the list.

One more bit of useless Great-Grandmother's name was Bridget (love that name) ..she was from Ireland..and made my Grandmother promise never to name any of her daughters Bridget..when I asked my mother (Margaret) why, she didn't know. Then while reading a book on the Kennedys I found out that when the Irish migrated to the US, so many of the women became domestics, and were referred to by the rich uppity-employers as "Bridgets" (derogatory)..

Now, I feel badly..wish my Mother had named me Bridget..Maybe one of these was my Great-Grandmother..I hope so...

Well, my head's now empty. My apologies are said. My requests are in. My stories are told. I'll stop now.

I'm stopping....

I am..


Quit reading...



diane said...

Funny that, I have the same sort of stuff running around in my head too. I like being home and quiet aswell but I also enjoy outings with BB and holidays too.
I love your cool COLLEEN sign, thats a true Irish name too.
Weird about the list changing, these sites are meant to tease us.

Betty said...

Oh, goody, I'm still there....whew!

Bridget is a great name; so interesting that you found out why your grandmother complied with her mother's wishes. Maybe your next female furbaby's name?

I like your ramblings...I can follow them perfectly...isn't that too fun?

Have a really QUIET day at work!

madrekarin said...

My first thought about you being alone was that you could freely wear your tape-between-the-eyes and no one would know. lol
I am afraid I have been guilty of the same thing concerning unlisting. That's why I made a blog just for the places I visit, I can't make one disappear by mistake! This techno stuff is just sometimes too much for me.

Coleen said...

I truly enjoyed reading your post...i can soooo relate!! I am pretty much a loner, a doll maker I hardly venture out in public (except to do shows and sell my creations!)....but, back to your post...I was thinking as I read it, oh, she is a kindred spirit, then, I read your name is Colleen.....what?!! I am a coleen,too..only a one "l"er...then, I read your grandma was from mom was born in Ireland!!!

Liz said...

Hi Colleen

Really enjoy your writing ... I have a feeling that you sound the same as you write ... which would be great.

I love working from home ... being quiet or noisy ... dancing ... lolling ...

Oh yeh ... and working.

It's a kind of freedom that gives me joy ... and Coco pup loves having her human around the cottage all day.

Glad you liked the Life Dreaming workbook ... and really look forward to your feedback.

Think I'll just go and loll a bit more ... I'm training for the day the Olympics realise that lolling will be it's next major event.

I'm going for Gold.



me said...

I love your posts!

Thank you for all your sweet comments. They are so grately appreciated!!


Martha said...

HI, I feel at 45 there's still some hope for me, so I have taped my stomach, entire face, neck and upper arms,
I look like a mummy but I work with babies and they just laugh at me.......I don't think I will need to wax my
lip after this. Thanks for the tape tip, I will pass it on.

Laurie and Chris said...

Too funny!!! Sometimes I wonder were people do go. Did I hurt there feelings or did they just get bored from our posts. Thanks for stopping by our blog and leaving such great comments they mean so much!

Mary said...

The tape thing, let's get to that! Not sure why your tape was on your forehead but I can totally picture it plucking hair out of my eyebrows, chin and lip. I understand your love of quiet time. I think we have so much going on in our lives with work and family that we just need to unwind. I love my time too. I look forward to coming home and just chilling. Nothing wrong with that! You are a great blogger buddy though and that has to count for something! Thank you!

Shari said...

I understand! We are serious homebodies, too. And my parents were. Never had any kind of social life. Home and family were enough. I love talking to people and hearing their stories, but I also love my solitude. Have always enjoyed the independance of doing things alone. But when the sun starts going low in the sky, only one place I want to be . . . home, sweet home! Yep, we're the boring old folks at home!!

Mary said...

Hi Bridget....I mean Colleen which is of course another lovely name.

Thanks for brightening my day around the cottage - I'm home cleaning like mad, the painting and scraping of the ceiling left a coat of white dust everywhere! Tomorrow a blog friend is stopping by to see the dining room makeover - and although she wouldn't mind dust, I would be embarrassed! I wonder how old one has to be before dust in the corners and 'kitties' under the bed no longer become an issue in housekeeping? I feel so like my mother when the house needs cleaning - she was so house proud and we were always cleaning when I was a kid.

Perhaps I need your old glasses - and not be able to see the dust and the scratches on the woodwork! By the way, when you hit 65 you may not need glasses - at least for distance. I just threw mine away because my vision improved so much between 60 and 65, I passed my driver's license renewal and opthalmologist check up without 'em. yippy skippy!! Of course ask me to read a pill bottle or the phone book and I must go searching in haste for the drug store magnifiers!!

I must still be on your list, thank goodness, because you have visited this week and left me sweet thoughts, thank you.


P.S. I love to be home and silent too!