Friday, February 6, 2009

Survivor's guilt...


..have you ever heard of that and thought, "that's not true..no one could feel guilty for surviving..."

Hmm..yep. We can.

And yes, I do.

For all those that are suffering with cancer..and I am not.

For all those with strife, stress and life not turning out the way it should be...and mine is.

For all those who don't have a soft place to fall..and I do.

For those who have lost their jobs...and I still have mine.

For all those that I cannot help, that I cannot change circumstances for, that I love...

I do feel guilty.

I laugh every day. I have that soft place to fall and people around me that take care of me, see to it that I do not go without, love me and honor my spirit.

I have pets, a safe car to drive, food in my cupboard, a home I can decorate and a husband that allows me to be...well..me.

I have a Mother-in-law that irons my blouses, lets the pups out, buys things she thinks I'll enjoy and laughs at my jokes.

I see my grandchildren, my children and my family. I can call them. I can get/send emails.

Some cannot...

And my biggest worry is what I'll write in my blog tonight.

And yes, I feel guilty.

And at the same time...I feel blessed.... and thankful.

And I wonder...............

Why me?


-me

5 comments:

Lucy said...

Hey I know that feeling. When my sister died from cancer, I'd gladly have taken her place. She had a husband and a life....I really don't have that. She was the glue that held my family together. Since she has been gone, it's all gone to hell. Strange how it all works out.

Betty said...

You are blessed; and, I don't think God wants you to feel guilty for that. You have certainly had your share of 'trials and tribulations'; and, it's great that you recognize how very blessed you are now. I 'don't do guilt'...I just thank God every day for my blessings...such as friends like you!

Laurie and Chris said...

And I thank you for making me laugh!

There are days that I don't understand why I lost my Dad but I know for sure that he is in a better place and he isn't suffering. I would never wish him back.

There also days I am so greatful that my Mom caught her cancer before it was way out of control.

We all need to be greatful for what we have.

Margaret Cloud said...

I also felt guilty when my sister committed suicide, I felt I could of done more for her. I guess that is human nature, the guilt trips we put upon ourselves, even though we are not responsible, very nice post.

Neabear said...

Yep, it is hard when we go on that guilt trip. But equally not to go on it too. Hope your day is good.