"A gracious good day to you...have I reached the party to whom I am speaking??"

Sound familiar? Yep - Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the telephone operator on Laugh In..


That dates me..

Anyway, as you may remember, I do Customer Service for a web-based DNA/Genealogy company. We don't make outgoing calls except to return calls we may have missed.

{we = me ...most of the time..}

So when asked to participate in a project where we needed to contact folks to update our partner's email contact information, I was, well, a little..off-put.

Not that I was unwilling to do the work - on the contrary - I like... no make that, NEED to keep busy and our inbound callers have slacked off of their duty to keep me reasonably entertained...

The off-put part is not being able to go 'off the cuff' '- where I do my best work - they have a "script" to follow when calling to someone's home, which I can totally understand..I mean I don't want just anybody calling and saying they want my email address, what with all the news stories concerning fraud and all..

But my tang gets toungled and I trip over my words...so I sound like some sort of crazy-person who's attempting to make crank calls..

Besides, I told the bosses I wanted a different persona...a glamorous new name - so if I did come off as a complete idiot, when they called us back for more information, I could totally be my self-assured, talkative, funny me and not worry about my alter-ego..Ms. Dum-Bass

Thing is, I have ADD paired with short-term-memory, so I might be 2 people within one call..I start out as "Lily" (my homage to Lily Tomlin)..then I panic and forget and become ...Zelda. (?) or Bridget..or Gladys..


The anxiety is killing me..So I work a little, then call a little, then read a little..

I think I've been on bathroom breaks 15 times today and it's only 1:25. Oh, and now I'm totally taking a blogging break..

No, I don't feel too guilty, although I suppose I should..but my big boss (not in size, but in position) came in today in shorts- and when questioned on his lack of "business casual" attire (not by me, mind you) he said he was going ......golfing today.

I piped up and said "Me too! I totally have a green-tee time set up!"

He sat straight faced and said.."there are tee times and green fees.....but green TEA is something you drink.."

"Oh, so your totally serious about this whole 'working on Friday' thing, huh?

OK. Well, have a good game. Hope you get the highest score.. and don't worry at ALL about us here..on the phones..representing YOUR company...heehee (insert evil laugh)

{DISCLAIMER: The above is NOT my boss...}

{..however, this may be...}

I sooo want to call Mr. B, pretend that it's a customer and do the Lily Tomlin bit.....

"A gracious good afternoon to you. Have I reached the party to whom I am speaking?" Snort Snort..

Have a great afternoon..and if I call you, and you don't know it's me, be nice to Lily, or Zelda or Penelope...OK?

-me