Monday, July 21, 2008

There are certain ‘rools’ (as our little next door neighbor boy spells ‘rules’)

Disclaimer: These are Office/Public Building bathroom rools – so you may not want to read further…
Ahh come on.......you totally want to read on......…



OK, so when you go into the restroom with other girls, you can ‘chit-chat’ all you want..HOWEVER…once the individual potty doors close, all talking must cease.

There can be NO TALKING after the door is shut.
None. Zip it. Zzzzpppt. Zzzptt….

No matter what I have gone in there for, I do not want to carry on a conversation while attending to my…ahem….business
Conversations may continue once you have completed the task and are at the sinks, washing your hands, vigorously for a minimum of 30 seconds with anti-bacterial soap, and dried with the environment-friendly air dryer. Or recycled paper towels.


If there are any ‘noises’, it is customary to attempt to disguise them by one of the following:
1. Coughing

2. Flushing the toilet (no restrictions as to the number of flushes at this time – whatever is needed)

3. Whistling

4. Singing loudly (in extreme cases only)
At no time can the phrase “Hey! I recognize that voice!” be used to cover the sound of .....your....‘thunder’

If you are ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’, please hang around long enough to see the ‘kids’ go down the water slide.
No one wants to see your ‘kids’ happily floating in the pool…say good-bye and leave quietly.

If a sound/scent escapes and you know you are not alone..an ‘Excuse me’ is really all that’s necessary....not ‘Hey! I don’t remember eating THAT !


And remember, although the toilets, paper towel dispensers and faucets are sometimes motion-activated, the automatic air freshener is NOT ‘smelly-activated’….

Speaking about ‘motion-activated’.. if you happen to see someone standing staring and waving their hands in front of the water or the towels, don’t burst out in laughter….just tell them kindly that this bathroom does NOT have motion activated appliances and they actually have to turn on the water or crank the paper towels..

Remember…it could be you…standing there…making exaggerated motions just to get the water to run…


-me

7 comments:

Sweet Repose said...

Your post really MOVED me...know what I mean...again you crack me up girl...

madrekarin said...

I just sprayed diet Coke everywhere with your "kids in the pool" reference. Oh my gosh, Colleen- you crack me up!!

Betty said...

Bet we've all 'been there'! Coughing isn't such a great idea, as it can lead to a reason for more coughing. Love this post.

white o'morn cottage said...

What can I say? Colleen, you can make a post out of anything!

Jan said...

I had to read this one to the hubby! We both found it hysterical! You are so funny! I tell you girl, you need to write a book! Thanks for the morning chuckle! OH...and I have to agree with you about the NOOOO talking in the stall "rool"!
Have a great day!

Jan

Mary said...

I don't know how you do it. You always make me laugh. I love reading about your everyday life!
mary

Julie said...

I am so glad those fragrance things are not odor activated! They have gone off while I was using the facilities and I knew I didn't make any odors!

I had one of those uncomfortable "in the stalls conversation" the other day. Not initiated by me, I tell you.