Monday, July 28, 2008

"I'm sorry.." you find yourself apologizing a lot?

I do. I don't like that I do. I am trying to stop.

I wonder if all women do.

I think maybe so...But Mr. B said he does this too...

I know I have to apologize in my job as a Customer Service Administrator. And I do so willingly for any "perceived" or real complaint they may have. It's what we should do...

But what I am talking about is in our lives.

We apologize for things all the we need to be "forgiven" for having an opinion, a thought...............feelings, for Heaven's sake....

People run into me in a store and I say "I'm sorry"..they just walk away. Like I am saying "forgive me, this person of no worth, to have had the audacity to be in the place where you wanted to be..."

Sometimes the sorry's come in 3's........."oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!"

What's up with that??

We tend to justify what we do or don't do well by a 'disclaimer' of sorts. "I'm sorry, but I am just learning this..." or "I've never baked this before, sorry..."

Where did all of this come from? While watching The Next Network Food Star last night. One of the finalists was constantly being critiqued for apologizing too much. They said it was distracting and showed a lack of confidence. I think it was part of her downfall....

And I agreed. But I guess I had never seen it from the "other side" of the apology.

I definitely apologize too much.

For the weather if it's bad. For the high gas prices. For forgetting paper plates. For re-runs on TV...for the dogs barking ....well, maybe that one is necessary..Sorry!

And what's worse in my mind, is that no one is asking me for an apology. I just do it as a matter of fact..

And I am going to make a concentrated effort to stop.

I have never felt the need to apologize here on my blog....

I have openly expressed opinions, talked gibberish. Ranted and raved. Been silly and serious.

And never felt the need to apologize.

I find that to be a small miracle. A start. A beginning. So thank you all...maybe you have made me comfortable enough to be just me..."as is"...

They say to recognize the way or what you want to change is the first step. To become aware of it and then purposefully choose to handle it differently.

I don't want to apologize for what I have had no influence over, for what I am feeling, for what I am.

So, I am going to try to be more aware of what I want to say, deliberately, and with no apologizes.

And if I think it might be something that I might need to apologize for, I will think twice before I say it.

Time to see if indeed I do owe an apology - and if I do, I will give it BIG and meaningful.

And purposefully.

And if anything I said offended, hit too close to home, or made you uncomfortable tonight, well...

See? that wasn't so hard, huh??

Take care tomorrow...and here's a picutre of Mr. B that say's "Summer!" to me... Isn't he a cutie-patootie??!!


Irish Cottage Dreams said...

I throw sorry out there all the time.
I have also tried to stop. I will join
along with you and try to curb my
"sorry" habbits.

However, I think people who say "sorry"
frequently are the types who
really care how others are feeling.

Maybe we are just gentle souls trying to
make our way threw this life with love
and compassion for others. Just a thought.


Betty said...

Mr. B ROCKS! He is adorable, then and now.

Wow, you really hit the nail on the head about saying "Sorry". Jack teases me all the time because I overdo it, also. That thing in the store, where you say "Sorry" and the other person just walks away? Been there, too. My folks always taught us not to impact anyone; don't cause anyone concern, grief, or even irritation. I think maybe that's why I'm always apologizing...don't want to cause anyone harm, even the imagined kind.

Love this post. I'm gonna keep it nearby as incentive to improve. Love ya.

Jan said...

When I first started my current job I was ALWAYS apologizing. Not sure why, because it was a new job after all and I knew nothing about what I was doing. One day my co-worker finally told me to stop apologizing. He said it in a way that told me it was irritating him. So I stopped. Simple as that. Unfortunately for him I think his rude tone backfired because now I don't apologize to him for anything...even if it's warranted. (which is rude of me, but la tee da!) LOL! But I do find myself apologize all the time too. I'm wondering if it's a "girl" thing? Something to ponder.
Oh, I love that picture of Mr. B! That is just perfect!
Have a beautiful day darlin'!


white o'morn cottage said...

So right...we all say it too often. I catch myself and then get annoyed as I tend to say it when someone bumps into me! Count me in for this new club of yours!