And now a brief message from our sponsors...

Good Evening "Birds",



I am writing on behalf of my clients, the Honorable Mr. and the Exquisite Mrs. B of Main Street , USA, hereby and furthermore known as "The Wonderful People"


It seems they have on several occasions invited, made welcome and expected a visit from you, hereby known as "Much Anticipated Guests"


It has come to our attention and dismay that after pleading for your visit, "The Wonderful People" actually placed an adorable house-shaped container filled to the brim with many enticing sorts of seeds, things and...stuff.. that highly educated sales people said would be of your liking.


And at no time since the placement of said buffet have you made your presence known to "The Wonderful People"..

You, as the "Much Anticipated Guests" must know what distress you are causing to "The Wonderful People"..

Liquid refreshments, in the alluring shade similar to a fine Rose- ayye wine has been offered....


Last year, in approximately the same time frame, one Mamma-Sweetie-Bird took refuge in the eves of "The Wonderful People's" home, awaiting the birth of her adorable twins, George & Gracie...

..but you, the "Much Anticipated Guests" have nary a straw lifted to inhabit said eves..even after the careful extrication of the aforementioned Ms. Mamma-Sweetie-Bird's tiny but sturdily built habitat, a task that Mr. "Wonderful People" risked life & limb to retrieve..

The Wonderful People have offered their newly but remorsefully purchased fountain as your
private bird bath.

"The Wonderful People" have planted brightly colored flora and fauna {what IS fauna anyway?} with no other agenda other than to be a beacon of light, a GPS of sorts... the most beautiful sort(s) ..

But still, the lovely little cottages stand empty...........okay, they hang empty..like the hearts of "The Wonderful People"..
..forcing them to place plaster idols to aleviate their pain...

Ah, "Much Anticipated Guests", we are bereft with sadness at your lack of decorum..your ruthless disregard for the hospitality shown on your behalf.


It is our wish and desire that you reconsider your summer-cottage plans and include a wonderful, albeit brief, visit to the home of ..


With much kindness and anticipation, we wait breathlessly for your reply.

Signed,
Wherehaveallthebirdiesgone,longtimepassing

PS - would it freakin' kill ya to stop by?????

..ahem..pardon me..

-me