Hmph. I got nuthin'...
Seriously..not a thing..
I think I'm depressed about Farrah and Michael and Billy and Ed..
It's a lot of people either close to my age or just a little older..dang.
I really don't want to live forever, and they probably didn't either..but still...it makes one think...
I really want NOT to waste any precious time..but I need to work. Would love to see everything I can see..but I need to work to make the money to do that.
It's that "inner fight"..
I really am pretty satisfied to be an armchair traveler, but then I feel badly about "watching" instead of "living"..
And I'm in a constant state of tired, but I fight sleep 'cos I don't want to miss anything.
I want to eat..to taste everything and enjoy food and make my mouth happy..but I am feeling and looking better by not eating as much as I normally would like to.
I want to go and to and play and be silly and be with family and be alone and be meditative and relax and not think but not waste anytime of what my thinking-cap could do..
I want to be 5 and 16 and 30 and 65..and 83..
I want wisdom and grace..and to act like a child and swing on a swing..
I want to craft and make art and spend every minute with my love and not be in another room..or disconnected from what he's saying or doing..but I want to loose myself in my art...
I want to walk barefoot and dance in high heels..and squish warm mud between my toes..and have ballet slippers.in pink..with ribbons..
I'm a mess.
WaaWaa - what a baby.
I know..I REALLY know how blessed I am..so it's just once in a while this little inner-child brat comes out.
How about you? You in a slump?