Monday, May 5, 2008

Shopping used to be so much easier...didn't it??


I really REALLY dislike shopping...

..no, not for fun stuff...you know, like thrifting, or yard sales or craft stuff, or stuff..you know...

but grocery shopping...blech.


2nd. only to cooking in my "I'd rather been doing anything ELSE but this" category.

However, it has to be done. weekly. ick.



So, in order to save money and get it done quickly and efficiently, Mr. B does the grocery shopping.

I go in for 2 things and $123.76 later, I have new razors, a cool new shampoo, 3 dozen eggs, because they are on sale (!) 4 different flavors of coffee - none of which Mr. B will like- 3 new creamers, oh, and the picture frame that will look sooo cute in the back room!



Dinner? Uh....Oops. Can we eat out??

Anyway, because I have been begrudgingly cooking dinners and.... Oh! some wonderful desserts (impossible coconut macaroon pie!!) I have needed to write out the list...


Easy you say??..um..not so much.


Have we met? I have an odd sense of urgency..and an odd way of mind-wandering. And an odd way of thinking...and doing "stuff"...



So my list is whatever "pops" into my head at the time...eventually I get all the stuff on to the list, but in no particular order.

This drives Mr. B mad...! @%#*(@&*?!!&67^#&crazy to be exact.

He wants things in quadrants - you know - like a blueprint of the store. All breads. All dairy. All canned goods.

Sounds OK in theroy..but that's not the way my mind works.

Take Sunday. I tried. I really did. I DID! I had listed a few quadrants, and successfully got the items in them...

...but then, I thought of more and couldn't decide what quadrant to put it in. I had to make NEW quadrants..."cleaning products" - or - "shaving stuff" and...uh, oh where does Hidden Ranch Dry Mix go??

Isn't a "quad" 4?? Like quadruplets...or Quazeemoto...(4 humps??) I think I had "octo-drants'...
my brain hurts...even Goggle-ing didn't help...

He says he needs to find all the things in one area...I suggested a GPS - Grocery Positioning System - for the cart.

I can hear it now..."Right turn at the celery"
"Proceed 15 feet and turn left..at the onions.."

"You've missed the dairy-turn. Please make a U-turn at the meat case and go back."

Ah well. nobody knows the quadrants I've seen....nobody knows but me....

So, have fun shopping. And remember me the next time you are at the dairy case...
-me

10 comments:

Bax said...

Oh a girl after my own heart! I am NOT the cook in the house! Therefore I do not like to go to the grocery! Ick. The one reason I enjoy the grocery is when I can find deals with coupons! : ) I look forward to the ads coming out each week so I can get good deals! I could care less whether they will ever turn into a meal! They were DEALS!! I make it fun!
Now that dh is on the road for several weeks I've been doing some crock pot cooking, though!
And what's with the quadrant stuff? LOL! So funny!

Jan

Charmingdesigns said...

How funny will it be when I grab my milk jug from the cooler with a goofie grin on my face because I'm thinking about how silly you are. LOL. You made my day!! Laurie

Brenda said...

Grocery shopping used to be therapy, but with prices the way they are now im depressed. I take Brian for backup.

~d said...

OH grocery positioning.. THAT IS SO FUNNY..

I was laughing out loud :)

WE need one that says;
NO.. NOT THAT ONE.
your wife SPECIFICALLY SAID.FAT FREE FRENCH VANILLA: not FULL FAT you a$$

:) FUNNY

d

Senior Bowler-Carolyn said...

There is s store in Florida..one of those specialty place where milk cost you 8.00 cause it came from stimulated cows that has them on the cart. When you go down the aisle it tells you what on the aisle. Freaked me outwhen the "buggy" --that Southern for cart tlaked to me

Debbie J. said...

I can so identify with this funny post. My sweetie does the grocery shopping often, but wants me to make a list. The list needs to be in the order of the layout of the store. But, what if you forget something, you have to go squeeze it in the right place! LOL I finally made a master list of all the items in we use in the order of the layout of the store we frequent. This worked great until he went to a different store (Walmart). He walked himself to death. The soap was on the opposite side of the store. LOL

Debbie

Pen Pen said...

GPS for the grocery store! Great idea! I try to set my list up in quadrants too, but sometimes find it hard to squeeze one more thing into the proper quadrant. You are so funny... only you can think of these hilarious posts! You need to have your own newspaper column.

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

Oh My Gosh! Your hubbie sounds like mine...He was a military man. Now he is an ENGINEER....I am a ARTIST. We think from totally different sides of the brain! I will never forget, when he walked into my studio and asked if I need a compass to find the "exact center" of my project to make everything even...LOL I don't make things even...ever...

Bless you!
Hugs,
Penny

Mary said...

Sometimes the stores have layouts of their stores already printed. Mr. B could check.
I am always amazed when I get home from grocery shopping and have spent a gazillion dollars and have nothing for dinner. What's up with that?

Lori @ Katies Rose Cottage said...

Oh my gosh!!! You are a girl after my own heart ! I hate to grocery shop and pretty much never have a list ~ I am so right brained, I can't even get a list started !!
xoxo,
Lori