Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"Tracing Your Roots - or not - with COLLEEN"

Ha ha ha , ah ha....

But seriously..

"What I learned at work today"
by Colleen B.

My supervisor was out today, so I was left to my own devices..oh my..to learn some of the verbiage and acronyms used in DNA research...I do understand why I need to learn... I do...I really do...

But, I have been outside the "scientific" world for, uh, about 41 years..

Back to my junior year in Mr. McIntosh's' class at Tucson High School...where if I remember correctly, didn't really like science......or Mr. McIntosh..

But we're here now and I need to know this stuff..and remember it the "Science" version instead of the "Colleen" version..

Back Mutations - a mutation that essentially undoes itself...

And not..

..the Hunchback of Notre Dame or the tattoo on the biker chick's back-side...

Ancestor of Interest - a focus individual whose Y-DNA or mt DNA descendants are sought for a DNA study....

And not..

...the geriatric rich Uncle that's "circling the drain" ...

Admixture - the blending of 2 or more geographic origins with an individual..

And not...

...what you do with the beer batter and the onion ring recipe...

Complimentary pairs - the DNA molecule that is made up of 2 long helical strands that connect together...

And not.....

...Rum & Coke

Coalescence - the process by which the number of ancestors are reduced as one goes back in time so that they ultimately converge on a single forebear shared by all..

And not...

...the smell you smell when your neighbor lights his grill with a quart of lighter fluid...

Daughtering out - When a Y-DNA line dies out because only daughters were born..

And not...

"I have 2 daughters that I have managed not to kill while they were in their teens and I am having NO MORE.."

Germ Line - Mutations that occur when the egg and sperm are formed..

And not...

..the ring around the bottom of the toilet bowl that Ella won't "go potty" in until Grammie cleans it...

Karyotype - A picture of all chromosomes of an organism, often arranged in homologous pairs according to decreasing size...

And not...

..someone who enjoys lip-syncing show tunes at a gay Karaoke bar...

And last but not least...

Maximum Likelihood Estimate (or MLE) - The value associated with the highest possibility, used in reporting estimates when MRCA of selected individuals lived & results of geographic origin tests...

And not...

Time given by Mr. B as to when the newest project on the house will be completed.

And so it goes - another day with my nose at the grindstone..

(forget the onion rings - just gimme the beer...)

-me

10 comments:

Senior Bowler-Carolyn said...

I definitely like your definition better than the scientific ones. especially the daughtering out and the Complimentary Pairs..although mine would be Vodka,grapefruit juice and cranberry....help with the kidney stones you know....SEA BREEZE.....

Sweet Repose said...

You made my morning coffee break...guffawing all the way...us older gals really know how to say it like it is, right. Found you on Dawns blog and I'll be back...hope you don't mind, I added you to my newly formed list of faves.
Rich Uncle 'circling the drain'...bout fell off my chair...
Thanks for the laughs,
sharon

madrekarin said...

Oh my gosh, Colleen! You are hilarious. "Circling the drain"? I have never heard that term used in reference to an impending demise. You must print off your list and hang it above your desk. Your new coworkers will definitely see that they have a gem working with them!

COLLS GARDEN said...

Colleen My Love, I am now LMAO. Do your new employers actually know what a gem they have in you. You could actually change the face of forensics. And I'm with you girl, gimme the beer (or in my case, the whisky & soda).
Much hugs, Coll :-}

Jan said...

Colleen, that should be published! You really need to write a book! So funny....

Jan

white o'morn cottage said...

Lol!! but I prefer all the NOTs...just great!

Irish Cottage Dreams said...

Ha!Ha! That was really good. I have just
read a book on Dna and genealogy. "Deep ancestry"
I prefer your version :)
~kimme

Pen Pen said...

Your new job sounds difficult!!! The first time I heard "circling the drain" was from an older doctor who was describing one of my sick patients to me. I'm sure I must have had a puzzled look on my face when he said it to me, but once I got it, I thought "how awful a thing to say." Then it became funny to me and I use the phrase very often myself now. :o) I loved that old doctor and his wonderful sense of humor!

Mary said...

mmm...let me see. I think I use the Maximum Likelihood Estimate all the time. LOL...sounds like all kinds of fun new terms to learn and you'll be a pro before you know it. Have that beer!
mary

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

I like the "nots" better! Very cute post sweet Colleen!
Penny