OK, I am sooo bummed...

I have been walking on my treadmill while Judge Alex and I sort out the problems of the undereducated, unemployed, over-drawn and overexposed.

Everyday from noon to noon-thirty JA (as I like to call him) and I listen, make comments and hand down rulings to the man who loaned his friend $500 and got nothing in return but a bad cell phone bill....or the gal who wanted to keep the diamond ring after the engagement was called off because she was cheating with one of the bridemaids.......or the divorcée who wants her Christmas bulbs back but they are still attached to the trailer-house....

Yep, he rules and I walk.

His time goes by fast while mine, well, sort of creeps by..

I have started to play tricks on myself ....you know...covering the timer on the treadmill and seeing if I'm right when I uncover it?

Me: Oh, I've been on this thing for, oh, 14 minutes, right??

Timer: Nope. 3...

Me: Oh no, you deh-ent just say that....

Timer: Yep

OK OK, so back to why I am bummed. ......as if the whole timer-thing isn't bad enough.... have you seen the number of calories you burn while sweating like a football player??

27

TWENTY-SEVEN..that's not enough to cover the three crumbs of leftover cake I left on my breakfast plate...

Well the whole thing is.........

...........I am feeling better. You heard right. Better. More energy. Damn....

All those years people have been telling us that when we "exercise daily we have more get-up-and-go !!"

That our energy will be higher....that our little endorphins (sounds like teeny-tiny-fairy-like fish, don't you think??) will be happy and their levels raised....

They were, it appears, correct.

Double-Damn. Damn Damn

I wanted so to prove them wrong...to make them pay for all those times they tried to make me feel guilty. Or that I felt superior because I knew there had to be more to it....

Only to have to write this and admit that I was wro..uh.....uninfor....hmm...in erro...OK OK ...

.................WRONG! There, I've said it.

I do feel better. I have more energy. My stupid little en-freakin-dorphins are all giddy....

Now all you granola-eating, exercising-daily, yogurt slurping, water-drinking, , spandex-wearing, Adidas -footed, non-caloric-sweetening, fake-ice-cream-eating, calorie-counting, carb-pinching people back off!

You were right.....I was wrong. OK. I get it.

So just walk away from the all-fruit jam and reduced-calorie toast and no one will get hurt.....

Judge Alex and I have a lot to discuss before 12 noon on Monday....

-me