The one's that when you look at your reflections, says back to you...
"You are lookin' good Girl..MmmHmm...yeah baby.."
OK..well probably not that bad..
But there are days when I leave the house thinking I look pretty good..
and I pass a mirror and see this ..uh..lumpy-bumpy with not good posture and literally NO boobs..{no really, literally ..} which, I may remind you, if I had them, may not look QUITE so lumpy-bumpy..I mean the "girls" can lift your tops away from your lumpy-bumpy-tummy..sort of...
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Or..I get to work and in the Powder Room I see the outline of an eyebrow...but nothing in the middle! Bald as Dr. Phil's Charlie Brown head.....but just in the middle. The outline is there..oh yes it is...
Eye make-up? Looks rather good this morning..yes, a little heavier than most women my age..but kinds smokey and nice..
{See any resemblance??}
{me...Halloween..about 70 lbs ago...}
Uh, no. Not in the "real" mirror..I look like a raccoon..or like a linebacker..you know, with the stuff they put under their eyes to make them look scary? The linebacker, not the raccoons..they are too cute to look scary :-)
Wait, what? Ohhhh..they don't do that to look scary? To cut down on reflection? Huh..well that's pretty smart.. {again, the linebacker, not the raccoon..although I do think raccoons are pretty smart..like the one that got into April's kitchen through the Doggie Door..guess they didn't have a "raccoon" door..}
And, did you know my mirrors tells me I am thinner? And there is no etching that states:
"Objects in the mirror are larger than they appear."
I've looked. No warnings there..
So I confidently go out into the world, my mismatched colors, my too-heavy eye make-up..my mere outline of a brow..
...and the back of my hair looking like I fell asleep with my head pressed up against a hot, sticky car seat...
Frightening I tell you...and not just for me...but for the general public....
.......minus the "Wal-Mart" people..
"Yeah girl...you be lookin' fine..."
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-me
