Friday, April 30, 2010

I am SUCH a liar...and a looser...

I've come to the age where I know confession is good for the soul..and I have to tell you..

I have lied to a respected entity of the United States Government for yEaRS..




No, not the IRS..

and no, not the INS...

The DMV.

Wait-what?

Yes, that much loved bureaucratic institution...the Department of Motor Vehicles??

SHUT UP!

For over 20 years..I have lied...about my weight....{oh..and for a time about my hair color, but we won't go into that..bygones...}



Yes, I have knowingly and willingly tried to convince them that I was a mere 210 lbs...


{cow and ...cow..}

I know, if I was going to lie, I shoulda made it like, 125 right?

But they're not blind...

{my hip runneth over...}

I blamed "water retention" for my extra pounds..but I would have to have been retaining Lake Michigan..


{can you gain weight with strawberries? Oh, it's the CHOCOLATE they're dipped in??
Who knew??}

But now, I am a looser... but I find myself STILL lying to the DMV..I now weigh less that my "reported" weight. By a bunch.


{both legs in what was once just ONE leg!!}

I can now proudly say I weigh "a hundred and plenty"...

Oh, at my highest...263....yikes...first time "out loud"..well, not so much out-loud like in taking..but in typing..

well, it's not in CAPS so I guess it's not really OUT LOUD-out loud.

But I am now in the 100's! OK, a high 100..like 198..

..but, I haven't seen the number "1" in front of my weight in eons..




Whew..I feel better now..confession IS good for the soul...

So, do I tell Mr. B I needed that $20.00 for crafts and not for gas??

Nah...


Have a wonderful, TRUTHFUL week-end :-)



(my sis-in-law Jeri and I in Tucson earlier this month)
-me

ps - the person I lied to the most was myself..no more.

21 comments:

Yellow House Knits said...

Congratulations on such a tremendous weight loss! You look GREAT! What the DMV doesn't know won't hurt . . .

Emmy said...

Congrats! That's awesome :) You look wonderful! (and don't worry; I think most of us lie about our weight to the DMV ;) I won't tell if you won't tell.)

Mandy said...

oh...i love yous post and a huge congrats to you...you look beautiful!!!xxx

Chrissykat said...

"Everybody Lies"...just ask Dr. House! ;)

Congrats on your weight loss & health gain. Good on you.

And truthfully?...your blog makes me smile out loud!!!

Joyce said...

You look wonderful! You absolutely glow! How did you do it? I could use some inspiration. Congrats from a fellow "fibber".

Laurie said...

Congratulations Colleen! I started out very close to your start weight, and my goal is 199 by the end of the year. You inspire me!!

Lucy said...

Are you kiddin'? I've been 125 on my driver's license for 30 or 40 years now. :((

Pen Pen said...

You look great!!! I don't think our weight is even listed on our drivers license anymore... too many liars. LOL

diane said...

You crack me up. You are so funny but not fat any more. Congratulations, it has been a hard slog but you are getting there and looking terrific.

Sweet Repose said...

You are such an inspiration...this winter has been a rough one for me, putting on the extra that I'm just not comfortable with...I munch at night after a good dinner and I need to curb that issue, but at our age, it's not as easy...but boy, when those extra pounds come off, you feel like a new person, more energy...who knew...I'm with ya and am taking me back...again...no one said it would be easy!!!

Love ya from afar and keep up the good work!!!
s

Trudy Callan said...

You are so hilarious. You always give me such a good laugh.

You what? I'm lying, too! It never occurred to me to change the weight on my driver's license as I have inched up or my hair color as I've slowly turned gray. Oh dear. Do I have to?

Congrats on your significant amount of weight loss. You look radiant and gorgeous.

Life is good! said...

you look mahhhvalous darling! yah i've been lying on my drivers license also. i think when they ask for our weight and we tell them we are standing on a secret scale and they really know the truth. and they laugh at us!!!!

Just Breathe said...

I am with you 100%! I must confess that I have lied to the DMV for years too! It's awesome that your weight is below what it says, you go girl. We always laugh at my husbands license because it says brown hair and he has been S&P, with more salt now, for 25 years!

Sharon said...

Coleen thanks for coming by my blog.So here I am at yours and I can't stop laughing. You are a kick.I so enjoyed your post about how you have lied to the government. Join the group. But better yet congrats on that number 1! I like what you are doing with your flowers too. How thoughtful. I'll be back.

Sharon said...

PS I am a big fan of NCIS too! Love Mark Harmon.

~Carrie from Cottage Cozy~ said...

You look fantastic...you little fibber!

Breezy said...

You are delightful! And you look beautiful!
XOXO

Pearl said...

I am always amazed by your before and after pictures, you should be proud! You look so happy and healthy. Coodos my dear.

Lovey said...

Colleen only you can bring such humor to weight gain and loss. Too funny and congrats on that weight loss...I too could stand to loose a few...and I'm one up on you...the Dr's office never knows the exact weight...heehee...oh no it's the shoes not me for real. and they believe it in my charts...I've seen it...really!
Smiles and hugs...Lovey

La Dolce Vita with LeAnn said...

Honestly...no kidding...you have me laughing everyday. I believe it is perfectly okay to lie to the DMV, is there anyone who hasn't..please raise you hand! I tell them I'm taller, thinner, and blonder!

You look so beautiful and happy. I'm glad the humor didn't leave you with all that weight loss!

whitemorn said...

You look fabulous! Well done.