Monday, November 30, 2009

Grammie...you got some 'esplainin to do...


OK, so about that toilet paper necklace...

Long story..hey..I heard that..yeah .."aren't they all? "

..very funny..and quite accurate actually..

So, it's early in the morning.....v.e.r.y early. Like before the sun or the rooster next door were up..

April and Co. are staying in Mother-in-Law's downstairs apartment while she's 'toughing' it out in the beautiful San Diego sunshine with Mr. B v 2.0..

..and April goes in to the powder room..to, uh...well, you know...

Looks around..one sheet of toilet paper on the roll...not even a full sheet..just the essence of toilet paper..the mere suggestion..one single little sheet..


Hmmm..bathroom door's closed..every one's asleep...

"Chris?....Honey??...You awake??"

no sound...

"Chris? CHRIS!? Are. You. AWAKE??"

..nothing.

"Alyssa? Sweetie? Can you hear me??.....Alyssa? Alyssa?? Sweetie??"

"OK, Emily....Emily....EM-MIL-LY!? Emmy? EMMY?! EMILY....WAKE UP.."

"Anyone..phuleeze..Bueller? Bueller? I can't feel my toes...I am paralyzed from my bum down...."

She rifles through the waste bin..EMPTY! Not a used Kleenex or used up paper towels..not even used envelope. {?}

....nada

..drip drip..
..shoulda, coulda, woulda

{A small knock on the bathroom door - it's Emily !... all bleary-eyed and bed-headed..but it's Emily!}

"Mommy? I was having one of those dreams...someone kept calling me...EmilyEmilyEmily..irritating..geesh..what's up with that??"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF.... get me some toilet paper ...please!"

"Wha??"

"Right over there...in Grandma Evelyn's storage room.."

"I'm not going in....there...it's dark ...and scary.."

"Come on- it's just a storage room. OK, it's dark ..and damp and... uh..dark..but just swing open that swinging door...right there..see?..right over........ there..."

"Where's the handle?"

"It's a 'swinging door' Emily...it SWINGS open..thus the name.SWINGING DOOR..get it? What's wrong with YOU people!? Grrr.."

So finally after about 35 minutes of legs becoming numb, having a permanent ring on her back-side, the problem is resolved.

When she told me ..I asked her why she didn't have her cell phone to call..you know..in an emergency?

After all, if she had called upstairs, I could have gone down and gotten Chris up and all would have been good.."

Other than explaining that pajamas do not have pockets, she informed me that IF she did have her cell phone..and IF she did make a call to ANYONE, it would have been to Chris directly, "don't you think I would have called him in the first place!!?? Mother??"



She always was kind of a smart-ass..


So, I made her a beautiful night-time necklace to wear whenever she visits...and doesn't want to use her perfectly good cell phone...

Can ya hear me now??


-me
ps..now a message from Mr. T.P. Roll:

Yeah...something like this:


youbetcha!

17 comments:

Libbie said...

Too funny! Makes a good story :)

All My Yesterdays said...

Oh, this is so *stinkin* funny!!!

Did you make the T.P. roll faces??
Someone has a lot of time on their hands...I love it! Love the new necklace too (o:
Keep havin fun...

Karen said...

You could use the TP roll faces as a necklace too. Very stylish.

Lucy said...

I so identify. I hate and detest many jobs in the house but the one I hate most is changing the dam* toilet paper on the roll. Takes maybe 3 seconds to do so but I just hate it. Yes...I need a psych!

Pen Pen said...

Hilarious... this happened at my house this weekend too... i heard my son in law call my daughter's name "April, can you come here a minute?" LOL I knew exactly what was wrong!

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Oh you are so cute!!! And have the greatest stories to tell! :-) And I LOVE that pic of you.

Please, I have a Blogging Question posted today. Would you be so kind as to pop over, via the above click-able link, and give your view?

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Aunt Amelia

Lori R. said...

T.P. necklace is very nice and useful... I have learned one thing... keep cell phone with you at all times! juiced up of course!!

Sherry Goodloe said...

You crack me up! And the part about the cell phone? . . . I swear, my teenage manchild has his permanently attached to his body. I've had to have his phone replaced at LEAST 3 times for water damage. Yep, you guessed correctly!

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Great story! LOVE the toilet roll dudes!

Heather said...

LOL, now the necklace makes perfect sense! you're too funny!

Gaston Studio said...

Too funny! And I love the recycled tp roles into faces, but I just drop mine in our recycling bin.

Laurie and Chris said...

That is to funny! I may have to make a couple "bedtime" necklaces for the next time we go camping! LOL!!!

white o'morn cottage said...

Love it. Great story. ...and you could market the new necklace. There's a niche in the market for something like this.

Sweet Repose said...

Yeah, there's been times where I've wiped that smug smile off the face of that empty TP roll...know what I mean...not a pretty sight!!!

Just Breathe said...

That's a great story.
Love those faces, really do you think I could make one of those.
Usually Skye just comes running when the paper is changed and takes the old one to chew on for awhile.

diane said...

Funny for us frustrating for her. There is an idea for a present for her. A toilet roll stand in the bathroom.Although the necklace idea could take off.

Re Use said...

cool!