Wednesday, November 11, 2009

....and now for something COMPLETELY different..

{this is a re-run from a while back..}


As I age, I have to take more & more pills.

One to start my day, one to make me pee, one to give me the vitamins I just peed, one to clam me down. One to get me going.

One to get rid of allergies (I never even knew I had allergies...)

One for memory (or.... was that 2?...) one for the aches and pains I have. One so I don't get aches and pains. One so I can breath.

One so my heart will keep going.

I'm afraid to go to the doctor's anymore because he'll just prescribe another pill. Probably a "pest pill" so I won't bother him anymore.

And I think I'm HEALTHY! Can you imagine if I were sick??

Really don't remember taking all that many pills when I was younger. My tolerance to pills was very low.

I used to get high on Midol....almost made me really look forward to my period! Almost. Aaaaallmost...

Could never drink. Low tolerance there too. That's OK - the only way I liked wine was if I put a little Sweet-n-Low in it...got the "wine snobs" really ticked off.

Used to be able to take Excedrin for headaches - that'd wipe 'em right out.

Can't take that now - if I did I'd have to take a stomach pill to get rid of the stomach ache I got from the pill I took to get rid of my headache.

When the heck did all this happen?

And, have you noticed, they're making these pills the size of horse pills. Do you know how much liquid is required to get one Potassium pill down??

Then the pee pill kicks in............

I have to run potty so much I get tired and my legs hurt, which makes me take a Tylenol. And a vitamin.

Or did I already take that...???

Oh well, I think I'll take a Tylenol PM and a vitamin with my coffee and see if I can sleep-walk the dogs really really fast....before I have to pee again. .....

Have a pain-free day, will ya?!
-me

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11 comments:

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

This an post definitely worthy of repeating! I loved it!

Thanks Colleen for your visit today and that lovely little poem! I'd love to put that on something, perhaps a memory box, and give it to them.

white o'morn cottage said...

ah, I can't wait until they invent the laughter pill. Until then we have you.

June said...

Maybe if you think of them as M&Ms?

Anyway, YOU are the best anti-depressant ever created. So you've spared all your followers that pill!

xoxo

mnl said...

and then you have to figure out exactly when to take what vitamin because your liver can only handle so much calcium, iron etc. at a time......then 5 kids w/high metabolisms (I wish I had their problems) got to give them pills and make sure they are eating 3x as much as the average person.......I seriously write it all down :)

Laurie said...

Ah yes! Someone who knows my day! Thanks for the laugh Colleen, no depression here with you to guide us!

Just Breathe said...

I'm right there with you. I do my pill case each week and I am really thinking about getting the case that holds a months worth. Those weeks fly by so fast! Cheers!

Heather said...

LOL, too funny!

Karen said...

So far I've been lucky and only take two pills a day....but they're threatining me with cholesterol pills.........sigh.

All My Yesterdays said...

EXACTLY why I don't go to see a doctor, they always find something wrong and then ...GIVE YOU PILLS TO TAKE! Then as you say, they give you HORSE pills so ya gotta drink lots of water to get them down, and ya, you know the rest of the story...(o;
I'm doing a baby aspirin a day. That's IT for me.

Pen Pen said...

you must be on Lasix... poor baby. we have ladies at work who refuse to take their lasix on Sunday, so they don't have to pee during church. :D

Julie said...

When I hurt my knee last February nothing helped the pain. Not the salsalate I was prescribed, Aleve, aspirin, Tylenol, other OTC pain meds - nothing. I wondered why. Now after reading your post I'm wondering if my older body somehow refuses to recognize or process these paid meds? Interesting.

I'm going to the doc Wednesday. Haven't been to see him for a long time. He refuses to refill my prescriptions if I don't go in to see him. So now he'll probably be talking about cholestrol meds, and bone strengtheners and lord knows what all.