Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Forgive me Weight Watchers, for I have sinned…


Being raised Irish-Catholic, is, as any Irish-Catholic can attest to, well.... different than the other–nationality based Catholic upbringing...

For instance, it is wrought with guilt…”you can’t do that” , “can’t eat that on this day”, or “it’s a sin if you even THINK about that”..sort of guilt.

And my Mother was, for a time, the West Coast Distributor of Guilt.

"Please tell me he's Catholic..." she said upon meeting Mr. B for the first time..

"No Mother, he's not."

"Jeeeeesusmaryandjoseph...well, is he Irish?? "

"Ah..um..hmm.. sorry. I think he's...Scotch..or English...but, but...I have seen his family name on a poster of 'The Pubs of Ireland'..??!?!"

So it goes without saying that I feel badly about cheating..you know, eating “off-plan” as I have during the holidays.

Guilty. As charged. And I find I want to apologize to EVeryONe, especially my Weight Watcher’s group for …well…cheating...

And, as all good Catholic girls knows, confession is good for the soul. And also to receive the penance the Father gives that will somehow abolish all your sins…

"Say 2 Our Fathers, and 14 Hail Marys..yadda, yadda, yadda” (although I never actually heard a priest say 'yadda, yadda, yadda'...)

Yep…good for the soul all right…

“Ahem…um..excuse me? Yoo-Hoo?! I have something to say..Anyone? Anyone? Buhler, Buhler??

Bless me Weight Watcher’s for I have sinned. It has been 2 weeks since my last weigh-in. The sins I am most sorry for are:

· The chocolate-drop cookies eaten while standing up at the sink so as not to drop crumbs…(and be wasteful..another admonition from my Mother..)

· The cheese enchilada casserole made by Mr. B with 3 tons of sharp- natural Cheddar-Jack mix – R.E.A.L. cheese!

· Stolen fudge from Mr. B’s private stash…homemade and smooth... and creamy... and yummy..and .NO NO!

· The sweet-potato fries at the new burger joint – and telling myself and everyone around- “Hey- they’re SWEET potatoes – they’re good for you!”


OK..Colleen...here’s your penance:

· drink 8 glasses of plain water – no Sweet-n-Low or a lemon squeeze

· Do Not park close to the office- walk, yea through the valley of snow and slush and be not afraid-if ye fall…...ye fall. Get up.

· DO 3 Hail Marys (that’s a football move- I heard it in a movie once and thought it would be cute here.. and it is probably physical and can be counted as...exercise...)

· Only use stairs…the 27 stories to your office...

(no there are not any 27 story buildings in Utah..it’s “creative license”..we're on the second floor..but it IS 27 steps...about..)


“OK, OK, I feel sufficiently guilty now. Can I go home??”

“Yes. But go directly home..do pass Del Taco..do not stop for a Diet Coke at 7-11….and give me another 2 glasses of water before bed….”

“Yes, Sarge…uh…Father...uh...Leader.”

-me

21 comments:

Charmingdesigns said...

OH Colleen, you are to funny. Funny in sad way...how our minds wont let us get past our past. (do you follow that?) I finished the eyes on my birds...they look sooo much better! laurie

Lucy said...

Funny post. Thanks.

madrekarin said...

Ah. Consumption begets consumption of a different kind. Cast your guilty feelings away and just move forward. You can't undo eating all of that yumminess anyway. You know your leader did the same exact thing. Only she will say the candy was sugar-free, the cheesy enchiladas low-fat, and the sweet potato a baked one- plain, no butter, instead of fries. Uh huh. Riiight.
Confession is good for ths soul. Yours should be about ten punds lighter today. See how that works?

Sherry said...

I am a sinner too......

diane said...

There are no calories in Christmas food as a special concession to weight watchers. Don't feel guilty just get back on track and enjoy the memories of your binge.

Betty said...

Yeah, but wasn't it way worth it?!

Virtue is its own punishment! Hope you enjoyed every bite!

Martha said...

LOL.........so funny......love the photo of you with the
goods in your hands! I'm right there with you. I will
go get my water now........I really do want a Diet Coke
though. Thanks

Patty said...

Diet? What is a diet...I think that word disapeared out of my diconiary years ago..ha ha

Sweet Repose said...

I'm afrrraid after all those sins, I'd be a headin' ta me favorrrite pub ferrr a blessin' I would...a little Irrrish ale will do yee good, oh Sister of lil' faith...bottums up Deary...can ya feel the Irish drawl here? CHEERrrrs!

Jean said...

We have all sinned and fallen short.... I'm supposed to be limiting my sugar and carb intake and was doing so well B.C. It sure is hard to get back on track! Thanks for the laugh! Jean

Jean said...

We have all sinned and fallen short.... I'm supposed to be limiting my sugar and carb intake and was doing so well B.C. It sure is hard to get back on track! Thanks for the laugh! Jean

Lindsay Bunker said...

I swear that anyone who has ever set out to lose weight and has fallen off the wagon has felt this way! But you can do it! I believe in you!

Brian and I have both lost 4 pounds. Me slaving away at the gym, dieting, and drinking ocean amounts of water. . . and brian just stopped eating pizza and drinking coke at work. Lets ambush him! Life is NOT FAIR, and neither is WEIGHT LOSS!

Irish Cottage Dreams said...

LOL!! You are so funny! i think we all deserve
a little something occasionally.

Go in peace!

hugs ~kimme

white o'morn cottage said...

Me too!..guilty as charged. Ah well,

Mary said...

I forgive you, as I sneak a frozen cookie....yeah that really worked. Out of sight, out of mind. I figured if I put the leftover cookies in the freezer that I wouldn't think about them. HA HA HA!
I can't throw them out because hubby would like them but I can't leave them alone. What's a woman to do??? 3 Hail Mary's!

My Vintage Studio said...

Thank you for visiting my blog and entering my blog give away.
Love the photo for your banner!
I enjoyed reading your post...lol.
I shall return for more great reads.
Cheers, Sharon

Bobbi said...

Oh how I needed a laugh! You are the best anti-depressant around!

Kim~HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs said...

Great post, Colleen...thanks for putting a much needed smile on my face...LOVE YA!

Kim

Mary said...

Bob and I have just picked ourselves up off the floor after reading this - you are so funny! Of course he's the Irish-Catholic (Sullivan) and I'm the Anglican Brit - and in those long ago days, before we tied the knot, I had to sign a paper before the priest saying "any issue from the union would have to be raised Catholic"!! Enough said on that subject. Remember, nice bloggers leave out politics and religion.

Anyway, you are forgiven for cheating - doubtlessly there's a long line falling in step right behind you, me included, thanks to holiday overindulgence - so don't feel bad!!! Wish we could walk together, I know the time would go fast listening to your funny conversation - what a treat!

So happy to know you are preparing your desk for your lovely handwritten letters - and what keepers they are sure to be for some lucky recipients!

Hugs - Mary ACROSS THE POND

La Dolce Vita with LeAnn said...

We all forgive you and please say a few Hail Mary's for those of us who are still in denial about what we did over the holidays, yesterday, as well as today! Thanks for the smiles...they count as forgiveness!

Neabear said...

This is too funny! I guess I also have to get in line behind you too. My will power has gone kaput!