Thursday, October 23, 2008

Customer Service as it's best...

Yep..and sarcasm is just another service we (I) provide.

Take today...

Pleeease...

TaBoom..Rodney Dangerfied, watchout..

I had this person, whom shall remain nameless, writing emails as to the status of his DNA test.

I explained, nicely, that these things take time and one wouldn't want to "rush" the resuts...and we've gone back and forth a little...me explaining ..he not "getting"...

So, I get there this morning, all chipper and awake..

And I get this email...first thing...

"Hay Pal !!! (spelling??..oh yeah..I already know this is going to be a good one... )

When are you going to tell me they lost my sample? I deal with most of the Far East and Pacific Rim, so I have a lot of test results to deal with and application questions.
Several times my technician has lost information and I dealt with it. But you guys don’t have the CHUTZPAH (Yes, he typed in in RED) to tell me the sample is lost.

Crank up your CHUTZPAH or ask me to explain how to do it."
Honest - that is the real email he wrote...

Sooo, seeing how my supervisor was not in yet.....

I thought I'd respond to him myself....

Conversation: DNA Testing
Subject: Re: DNA Testing
Hello again -----,

Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Believe me, I am a “no-nonsense-tell-em-like-it-is” Bubbe (Yiddish for Grandmother) and IF they had lost your sample, I would have apologized and had the fulfillment house send out another......
......because I am also a mentsh:An honorable, decent person, an authentic person, a person who helps you when you need help. Can be a man, woman or child. ( or a Customer Service Administrator)
So (name shall remain hidden) just for fun I looked up the meaning of the word chutzpah:Nerve, extreme arrogance, brazen presumption. In English, chutzpah often connotes courage or confidence, but among Yiddish speakers, it is not a compliment
Anyway, don’t plotz:Or plats. Literally, to explode, as in aggravation. “Well, don’t plotz!” is similar to “Don’t have a stroke!” or “Don’t have a cow!”

And don’t kvetsh:In popular English, kvetch means “complain, whine or fret,” but in Yiddish, kvetsh literally means “to press or squeeze,” like a wrong-sized shoe.

So don't be a putz: (you do know what that is, right??)


In closing, I was just trying to be friendly.

You know, shmooze:Chat, make small talk, converse about nothing in particular.
OK, enough kibbitz:In Yiddish, it’s spelled kibets, and it’s related to the Hebrew “kibbutz” or “collective.” But it can also mean verbal joking, which after all is a collective activity.
Shalom!It means “deep peace”

Colleen.

Ah well, as they say...I was looking for a job when I found this one...

PS - He wrote back. Said he was just trying to , and I quote "twitch your nose & now I know how to do it!"
hahahahahahahaha - ain't life a hoot!

-me

10 comments:

Bobbi said...

I know I'm suppose to be in hibernation, but.....just can't "sleep"! :) Had to slip over and get a good laugh before I go to bed! I can always count on you! Way to go with the....hmmmmm....poophead? That's what my 7 year old would call him!

Irish Cottage Dreams said...

Ha!Ha! You tell em!
I loved the book "Deep ancestry"
and think it is neat that you work
with a DNA company. I am big into
genealogy and think DNA is a great
tool in family research :)

Love ya's ~Kimme

Brenda said...

i think he didn't know he was messing with the wrong lady! You go girl.

Charmingdesigns said...

You are sooooo good!! Thanks for making me smile...again.laurie

Sweet Repose said...

TWITCH THIS CHUMP...ha...you are too much Colleen...right on Sista!!!

sharon

Betty said...

Bet he's sent similar emails in the past and NEVER received a reply like yours...you ROCK! Wonder if he hurt himself while rolling around on the floor in laughter? That would be a good thing, eh? Your customer service is perfect!

Alyssa said...

Grammie, I love how you just proved to me again that our sarcastic wit was generously handed down. Must be an Irish thing...
Way to use Yiddish LOL.

Johnny said...

Thank for the much needed laugh. That guy is a shmegege.

Jean said...

This is too funny! I work in customer service at a grocery store and I wish I could give "smart" answers like you! Jean

white o'morn cottage said...

Next time just tell him he is a sleeveen, gurrier gombeen *that'll get him thinking...These are not compliments of course!