Thursday, November 8, 2007

I am a thief............

So, I’ll admit it…I am a thief. A common street thief.


Me and my hommies. Braxton & Lulu. We’re a gang.


Our gang colors are cotton candy pink and chocolate brown…and we're tough..and we lookout for each other..(notice them looking both ways??



You see us in the ‘hood, we’ll give you a shout out, “YoYo, wassup?”

“Yo yo mama…”

Or maybe it's "Yo-Yo Ma" …no wait…he’s the cellist…
And gangs probably wouldn’t know classical music if it bit them in the baggy-jeans-underwear-showing-low-slung- no butt-butt….

Maybe it's one “yo”…........2 Yo’s would be a toy on a string.....

I digress….

I’ll bet you’re wondering what I stole…stoled?...Took....

A screen door.

No, not off a house…
…well, actually, probably at one time it was on a house…

But when I “rescued” it…. it was in the big-trash-pick-up pile in front of a house that our city does twice a year.

It’ soooo cool! That pretty green like in my kitchen – and old…distressed…but it’s really short…must have opened a really short doorway…for really short people….Hmmmm
Anyway, here’s a picture of it.

I can use magnets to display cards, scrapbook pages and photos!
Or recipes.....
Or receipts......

Or, according to Randy, arrest warrants……

Yes, I did finally read on the instructions for big-stuff-disposal-pick-up that to “take” something is actually against the law.

Oops. Didn’t know that… How silly! Thought I was saving the city some time and effort…..

Can you imagine if someone had called in to report a “crazy lady with 2 small dogs and one screen door walking down the street at 6 in the morning” ?

Yep, I found it on our walk. So I had to “walk” it back home, right?

Screen under my arm, two dogs pulling on their leashes..me trying to keep up with all of that….

And I can just see me & the gang in prison….

Them: Wacha in for?

Braxton: whimper…whine Lulu: Grrrr!! GRRRRR!!! (little “piranha teeth” in an under bite could be threatening…)

Me: stealin’ a screen…

Them: ...a computer screen?

Me: Nope

Them: ...a Big screen TV?

Me: nope – a decorative screen door used for displaying pretty pictures and darling cards!! It was FAB! All sea-foam green and distressed! Martha would have loved it!!
Them: Oh, you know Martha too?

Hahahahahahaha!


Pssst....Braxton .... don't stand near the evidence.......

Have fun and don’t steal….
Re-cycle! Re-purpose! Re-use!

Hey, I didn’t realize I was going “green”! Environmentalists, be proud! I RoCk !!

-me

5 comments:

Senior Bowler said...

TOO FUNNY!!!!! Had a visual of little lady ..screen in tow with 2 dogs leading, protecting or reaking havoc on any would be screen jackers. Tears running down my face..have to fix the make up. Made my day

Kari & Kijsa said...

How funny!!!Made our day!!

blessings,
kari & kijsa

Anonymous said...

Do you have any idea how many pairs of stud earrings you could put on this wonderful screen???? Wow, makes me want to "go shopping" at the dump. Well, maybe not; no telling what staph stuff I could get in my earlobes after putting the earrings on a "dumped" screen. You had a great idea! Betty

Heather said...

You are quite possibly the funniest person I know your SO clever! And what a pretty door! I am so jelous next time your on a heist keep a look out for me! Your halarious here I am in my cubicle laughing to myself they are goig to think I am crazy! GOOD JOB! I can totally see you 3 in prison that is exactly ho wit would go down too!

The Tattered Nest said...

funny. for a minute I thought you stole that hotel chair out of that ladies yard you have had your eye on! thanks for sending me the website! I have a week to get my shoe box packed up! and there is a drop off site real close to me! yeah! should be fun.