Saturday, December 8, 2007

..Da girls.....


...I love saying that!....and seeing how I was born in Chicago, though we left when I was just a little kid..I do remember hearing what I now think of as an "accent" - you know ,"da Bears" and "da boys" and one of the funniest I've heard in a while - garachkey .....garage key! Oh, and there's fronchrum...as in "don't chu leave dose wet boots in the fronchrum! "(front room!)

Anyway....for those who don't know, I am the proud survivor of breast cancer. Yeah me! 11 years and I still am buying green bananas!

But, in the course of it all, I lost "da girls"....

Yep, both. "Second base" is gone. Someone stole second base...Hmmmm...

So, we went shopping for some new girls..weird experience...you get to feel those little jelly-bags and try to decide it you want an instant "boob job" by choosing ones that ate larger, or a reduction by picking ones smaller...oh , too many choices!

So I get 2..... thought 3 would be a little odd.....and one would look like my chest was 'winking' ...though that would have been fun to see the reactions from people on the street..

Because I hadn't worn a bra since the operations, the bra-thing felt weird to start with. Then try adding what amounts to two water balloons and just try to look and act normal...bwahahaha!

So I opted NOT to adopt the 2 new girls in town. Figured that going bra-less should be a perk not a downer. Enjoy the freedom and all!
......BRA- Battle Ready Armor....

And I am.....enjoying the freedom....

Because I am a , uh. not-petite-person, when my girls were still with me, they were big girls....

LARGE gals.

Do you remember when going bra-less was the "thing"? They said you could do a little test to see if your girls could go unencumbered by the "pencil" test - if you could place a pencil beneath one and it stayed put, you should probably NOT go bra-less.

...I could have held a Volkswagen under mine......strong ...big girls....

So I opted to just have people think I must have really bad posture 'cause no one could be that flat...

Oh, and the tummy I really never saw because the girls were in the way??

O-MY-Gosh! First time I was in the shower after all had been said and done..I was washing, enjoying the water when I looked down and saw "it"...(insert "Psyco" shower scene music here..)
Guess it had been hiding in the shade of the girls..but now, well my first thought was that there was something wrong with my eyes...

Hmmm..not so much...oh well, "Hello Tummy!"

So, now I wear a sleeveless T-shirt. Get them in the men's department - cheaper that way- in the Women's department they call them "teddies" or "camies" or something to justify them charging more...

In the men's department, you can get 6 of these lovelies in a plastic bag for half the price...Course I have to fight to get them, what with all the mechanics, lawn boys, and badly-shaped-neighbors-who- cut- the-grass-in-the-summer-oh-my-poor-eyes-get-a-whole-shirt-on tries to beat me to them...

First time I put one on, and I still have to tuck them into my granny-panties, Randy said that was the biggest "onesy" he'd ever seen...hahahahahaha.......ahhh..........gotta love 'em....




Anyway, today's thought is take care of your girls. No one knows them like you do. Listen to the Doc's but really push it of you think there's something going on- I know I had to- and I am still here to buy those not-so-ripe bananas and I'll be here when they fully ripen....

Have a great Saturday...



-me

5 comments:

Haus Frau said...

I burst out laughing at your opening comments. I was born in Waukegan, just north of Chicago. Lived in Winthrop Harbor (know of it?) til I was 10 then again when I turned 18 for about a year. Now I just visit and boy does the accent and its quirks pick up quick! my husband and daughter tease me w/o mercy.

The girls. Hm. I call mine a few different things but not usually in a kind way. These puppies/bazoongas/bothers/boulders aren't all they're cracked up to be. But they *can* keep your neck warm in winter...just toss 'em over your shoulders..who needs a scarve? and forget the pencil trick..try the #10 can trick. *snort* and hey, they disappear if you lie on your back. cool trick.

i despise shopping for bazoonga holders and at the checkstand it's invariably a small chested gal ringing you up. of course. even had one say, "wow." when she saw the size. i hit her. joy.

had a lumpectomy 15 years ago.

hugs,
haus frau

Haus Frau said...

btw, where did you find that picture?!

The Tattered Nest said...

you go girl! congrats on being a survivor! I didn't have my girls removed completely but I did have a reduction...It was the best thing I ever did! pure freedom.

Anonymous said...

Having been raised by southern parents and mostly in the South, I was so surprised to meet someone who actually said "youse guys"! Too funny, y'all.

Congratulations on the 11 years and counting! Betty

Penny said...

11 years and counting.... there will be many many more. My mom, too, is a breast cancer survivor. Your post is too cute. That's why you get along so well... you have the best attitude. You are so funny!