Friday, February 4, 2011

Bullying..it is not a joke, or a "kid thing" or fun...I know

I know we've all heard horrific stories lately about the rise in bullying - just this week a young boy was beaten, dragged and hooked on a fencepost in the snow..all by classmates who  thought it was a cool thing to do??


But this wouldn't happen to our kids, right?     Well, not so much.

Ella.  7 years old.  A mere wisp if a girl.. my grand-girlie.



Yesterday she was on the 5th step of a riser (bleacher) and a "bad boy" { a known bully } threw. her. off.

She landed on her side, which is now quite bruised, but, thankfully, no broken bones, no head injury..just a fear of going to FIRST GRADE. !?@#@?#$

I was not home last evening to get her "good night" call, but on her voice mail message she said she couldn't sleep because her side hurt, she misses me and she loves me..

This all said in her tiny, soft 7-year old voice.


This is not the first incident for this boy..hopefully it will be the last.  Brandi & Johnny are going to her school to speak with the nurse, teacher and principal.

There was a incident report filed.  His parents are being called...

I, of course, want more.

I want to meet the parents, to see the boy, to look at him and try to understand what he told himself that made it alright to toss a little girl from a 5th step on to the ground.

I want to know the schools "zero tolerance" policy will be upheld.  I want to see the parents and the child together receive counseling..


**Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group) , thus an "imbalance of power”. 

The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. 

The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. 

Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.


...and I want to tell Ella that bullying is not acceptable..that she will never have to worry about being bullied again..that she need not be afraid to go to school.  Ever. Again.

But I can't make those promises.  Not until parents take responsibility for the lives that they brought into this world.  Not until schools REALLY, TOTALLY, SERIOUSLY enforce a zero-tolerance bullying status fairly and consistently.

All I can do is to tell her how much Grandpa and Grammie love her and how her Mommy & Daddy will protect her and how she needs to be brave, and report bullies she sees, to tell the teacher when she feels bullied and is afraid.



And hopefully, this tiny hummingbird of a child will never have to feel afraid of going to school again.

-me

PS - please visit:
http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/   to see what YOU can do...

21 comments:

Karen said...

I'm so sorry your sweet little Ella had to go through this. I hope it doesn't change her view of the world too much. Makes me fear for what my two beautiful grandbabies will have to deal with.

Vee said...

Ohhh, not sweet little Ella. May all of Ella's parents' actions get just the desired result. Life's so scary sometimes. Hang in there! And keep speaking up against bullying. I'm so glad that Ella shared what happened.

ain't for city gals said...

I just wonder where to kids learn this? This is a problem that must be dealt with...I really hope you take this to the full extent of what you can...all the Ella's of the world must know that someone is standing up for them..thank you for sharing this.

Mellodee said...

Oh this makes me livid!! I cannot understand it on any level! Not at all. The parents of the boy MUST be held responsible. This "hummingbird of a child" (great imagery!) could have been seriously hurt. To think that she is now afraid of going to school, a school filled with other children that she SHOULD NOT fear, is completely unacceptable. The boy and his family not only should receive mandatory counseling, they should also be financially responsible for the counseling sweet little Ella may end up needing!!!

I don't know how to accomplish it, but concerned and rational adults must find a way to make it abundently clear to our children that bullying is completely reprehensible and shall not be tolerated under any circumstances. AS you said this boy's action was significantly beyond "bullying", this was assault and should be treated as such!

Damn it!!

sonya said...

This post has really hit a raw nerve with me! It is SO upsetting to hear about things like this! I too have a grandson that is 3 and fear for his future in public school. Working in the school district myself I see angry, mean and hurtful children ALL the time! It is so disturbing! But teachers hands are tied as far as punishment goes as well as parents nowadays. Then you have the parents that are there physically and that's about it! Ella could have been seriously hurt and they should be aware of this! What about next time? The school and this Bullie's parents need to address this kid's behavior now.
GRRR!
Your Ella is a just a doll and it breaks my heart that anyone would want to hurt her.
Hopefully the school with take care of this!
Have a great weekend.
Hugs, Sonya

Pearl said...

I feel so badly for Ella no child should have to go through this, my son was a target through school and wow is it a heart breaker. I hear ya parents have got to start being "Parents" and teach there children right from wrong! There is so much meaness in this world and it's all up to the parents.

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Oh no,poor Ella. That's horrible. So sorry to hear this and I pray that something positive can come out of this somehow.

Lucy (aka rharper) said...

Give me his name! I'll go to the school and toss him off the risers. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I'm nothing if not revenge-ful.

DUTA said...

"Zero tolerance" - that's the key expression. Zero tolerance for the assaulting boy and for his parents.

I'm afraid counselling will not help much. The boy and his parents should be made aware of the possibility/probability of being expelled from school. School is no place for bullies.

just call me jo said...

"Little hummingbird of a girl"--that's so sweet. She's precious. I can imagine how this "hurt" you too. What happens to our grand children can affect us more than it does them, I think. I hope you will get justice for your sweet girl. How do parents like the boy's not see what he's doing?

Pen Pen said...

This story breaks my heart. I would love to whip that little boy, myself! (((hugs))) to you and your baby girl!

Ming said...

Oh damn, my original post did not go through b/c I was not logged in...oh well, it was really good and I will try to recall it but it won't be as strong....

First, I am sorry for you and your little E. No one deserves to be bullied, especially such a youngster. My heart goes out to Ella that she learns that the world, although sprinkled with bullies, is mostly full of people who are genuinely good. I hope she overcomes her fears and is able to put this behind her.

Secondly, what your daughter/d-i-l) and son/s-i-l are doing, is the RIGHT THING! It must be brought to the attention of the school (but don't expect any help from them, I speak from experience) and the parents of this child MUST be made aware of the situation. This child needs help and must be rehabilitated.

Thirdly, I have had direct experience with 'bullying'against one of my children (and maybe I should blog about it one day soon) and can tell you, it's tough to live through but you do the best you can with the lemons thrown at you. My son's ankle was broken by a push (from behind) down the concrete and steel stairs. We took it all the way to the courts since the school was of little help.

BTW, (or fourthly), that recent, newsworthy bullying incident happened right in my backyard so to speak. I live in that school district where it happened but it's so large that if it were named a city, it'd be the third largest in the state of PA... so it was not in my neighborhood but just about in my backyard nonetheless. I was horrified when this broke locally that this could happen here but truly, it could, and probably does, happen everywhere. Some just don't speak up about it. Props to the Philadelphia Eagles who have made this horrific incident have a happy ending.

Finally, my heart goes out to the victims of bullying and my prayers go out to the perps of the bullying. These perps have underlying issues or are victims themselves at home or by 'friends'. When a child is brought up in an atmosphere of bullying, they know no differently and believe this is 'normal'. We are products of our environments to some extent and some can overcome this while others are victims too.

I know original post was stronger and I am sad it didn't post but it's obvious with my tamed post that your post Colleen, hit a nerve with me.

Best to E and your family as you cope with the aftermath. ((Hugs))

Joyce said...

If that little monster is throwing sweet little girls down 5 stairs now what will satisfy his urge to hurt the vulnerable when he is older? My heart is aching for your Ella, she is so much like my little Kate and the thought of anyone being unkind to that innocent sweet child makes me furious. We need to protect our little ones and get help for the bullies before their uncontrolled impulses do something that can"t ever be fixed. For now Ella has your hugs and kisses to comfort her.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep us posted, on how this rotten thing proceeds. Please do. And if needed, please keep "on it." By "keeping on" her parents to not let down or let up.

Repeat... Horrible!!!! I can just imagine how you really feel. As in really feel. I know how I WOULD react.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That is so sad. I feel so bad for Ella. This bullying has to stop. I am so glad that she is is okay. I know she is hurting, this should not have happened at all but when I think of what else could have happen it sickens me. Sending her a ((HUG))

diane b said...

How awful for Ella, you and her family. It is a sickening feeling to see such an angelic angel hurt. I hope the school will act on the problem. Do they teach kids how to react to bullying by being assertive but not physical?

Joycee said...

The most disturbing thing I can imagine. Unprovoked anger that causes injury should be grounds for expulsion. The schools must step up and enforce this to protect our children and for the bullies to document and get help for them before they turn into adults who harm. Ella is the sweetest little girl, tell her we are sorry this happened and that she is beautiful. Tell her it won't happen again because we won't let it happen. We must speak up now to help our kids overcome this threat. Can you imagine how she must feel?

Breezy said...

Oh Colleen.. I am so very sorry for Ella. I am hoping that he is dealt with severely and quickly. What happened was ASSAULT and should be handled as such.
Sadly this kind of behavior is all too common in our society.

XOXOX
gail

Muffy's Marks said...

Ella is such a sweet child, I can't imagine anyone wanting to hurt her. I hope the bully gets his due justice. Give your granddaughter a hug from me. I love your blog.. Consider me a follower.

Melinda Cornish said...

Ohhh, poor little sweet pea....When I had the grandkids in Washington my grandson was getting bullied and I think parents are usually the cause. They make excuses for their children instead of laying down the law. My son went thru a bullying phase until he learned I have zero tolerance for anyone mean. it isnt funny or cute, it is just mean......

Lovey said...

Oh I'm so sorry that your little angel had to experience this. I pray her little heart heals fast...as it is more hurt then her body. Tell her she is loved and that the boy who did this to her was just a bad boy behaving badly!! Not her fault...and no shame. Send her kisses from all of us here in blog land!