Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Hi Hi Hi...

...just a short note to say "Hi" and let you know we're on the mend!

My Doc prescribed some meds and Mr. B and my MIL won't let me do a thing..(hey this is not such a bad gig, huh??!)

So, I was letting Lulu (the princess warrior) and Braxton (aka Eeyore) out for their morning duty when I noticed they were kind of digging around in the snow bank out back.

"Hmmm" I say to myself..not really wanting to go out in the 17 degree day..."wonder what their up to..."

Just about then, Lulu walks up to me, proud as can be......with a frozen......

.......................POOPCICLE in her mouth!!


Eek! Yuck! Gross!

Blah.. Bad dog! Go away!

No, come here! I need to get that icky thing from you NOW!

Braxton heads for the door, head hung low, looking like "I told you not to do it, Lulu..." (insert heavy sigh.....)

Up she struts, pretty as you please, with what I can only imagine is the neighbor's cat's ...ahem..."refuse"...sticking out of her mouth like a stogie cigar!

A completely FROZEN piece of....... Poop....cicle, that I now have to force her small but STRONG jaws off of....and get it with my bare hands!!!!!!!!!!

Oh sweet mother of mercy!

Thanks to all that is holy, it was frozen...solid...

But that still leaves me standing with a frozen poopcicle in my hands. What to do?

CHUCK IT!

So like a hand grenade about to go off, I toss the offending poopcicle as far as I can, only to hear it KER PLUNK on the concrete sidewalk.

My heart still pounding like a runner after a marathon, I go in...no, make that RUN to the sink and start scrubbing. Didn't even let the water get hot. Just turned it on full blast and while it heated up, nearly scrubbed my hand raw.

Mr. B was in the front room, not knowing what had just transpired and was calling his "little Darlings" to him for some good 'ol lovin'.......

"DO NOT TOUCH THOSE DOGS!!! Do not let them kiss you!!!"

"Whaa????"

Screaming like a banshee, I try to tell him about the poopcicle, about having to toss it, about washing my hands raw, when I notice a smirk....hey, is that a smile????

ARE YOU LAUGHING?????????

...he was enjoying this little tirade of mine....all the while Lulu looking like a debutant at a Father-Daughter Ball...

And Braxton saying ".....leave me out of this...it wasn't my idea...I tried to tell her...she wouldn't listen...she never listens to me..."
Heavy sigh....


Well, so much for the idyllic start to a wonderful, peaceful, uneventful New Year....

Maybe 2009.....

-me

6 comments:

Brenda said...

Hehe one thing you can say it was frozen. Musn easier to pickup lol=)

Pen Pen said...

Wonderful story! So funny... I can just imagine your horror when you realized what was in her mouth! I guess the moral of the story is... even though we think of them as our babies, they are still dogs... they love dirty stuff! My little one (that looks like he is related to Braxton) sometimes enjoys his OWN poop... now that is gross!

Pen Pen said...

Forgot to say.... so glad you are feeling better!

Senior Bowler said...

SO funny...my cat brought me a live rat one time and dropped it in the house..she was so proud of the gift and Jay and I freaked trying to catch this thing in the house....2 grown people chasing a little mouse (rat to me) trying to get it out of the house....she had brought me dead snakes before but never anything live....yuck

Kim ~ "HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs" said...

Hi Colleen,

Sorry to hear that you were under the weather.

That was a great story...you always manage to make me smile!

Happy 2008 to you!

Love, Kim

madrekarin said...

hahahahahahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh, Colleen!! I sure needed that today! Dogs are disgusting, aren't they? At least it was frozen. Ew. Ew. Ew.