Just about then, Lulu walks up to me, proud as can be......with a frozen......
.......................POOPCICLE in her mouth!!
Eek! Yuck! Gross!
Blah.. Bad dog! Go away!
No, come here! I need to get that icky thing from you NOW!
Braxton heads for the door, head hung low, looking like "I told you not to do it, Lulu..." (insert heavy sigh.....)
Up she struts, pretty as you please, with what I can only imagine is the neighbor's cat's ...ahem..."refuse"...sticking out of her mouth like a stogie cigar!
A completely FROZEN piece of....... Poop....cicle, that I now have to force her small but STRONG jaws off of....and get it with my bare hands!!!!!!!!!!
Oh sweet mother of mercy!
Thanks to all that is holy, it was frozen...solid...
But that still leaves me standing with a frozen poopcicle in my hands. What to do?
So like a hand grenade about to go off, I toss the offending poopcicle as far as I can, only to hear it KER PLUNK on the concrete sidewalk.
My heart still pounding like a runner after a marathon, I go in...no, make that RUN to the sink and start scrubbing. Didn't even let the water get hot. Just turned it on full blast and while it heated up, nearly scrubbed my hand raw.
Mr. B was in the front room, not knowing what had just transpired and was calling his "little Darlings" to him for some good 'ol lovin'.......
"DO NOT TOUCH THOSE DOGS!!! Do not let them kiss you!!!"
Screaming like a banshee, I try to tell him about the poopcicle, about having to toss it, about washing my hands raw, when I notice a smirk....hey, is that a smile????
ARE YOU LAUGHING?????????
...he was enjoying this little tirade of mine....all the while Lulu looking like a debutant at a Father-Daughter Ball...
And Braxton saying ".....leave me out of this...it wasn't my idea...I tried to tell her...she wouldn't listen...she never listens to me..."
Well, so much for the idyllic start to a wonderful, peaceful, uneventful New Year....