..about those emails...

OK, so some of you know I have the dubious distinction of being TSL at work.."the snack lady"..

I am in charge of Tea Time - a designated time each day when all of us take our noses off the proverbial grindstone, go to the break room and actually have people-time....with-real-people..

And food.

That's where I come in..I purchase and organize and prepare and clean up the daily snacks..

And I try TRY to come up with inviting ..uh..invitations to everyone so they will feel compelled to actually partake in the {suggested but not required} festivities.

Take today...grapes.

sha-boom..

How do you get someone excited about grapes? I mean, anyone older than 3..or someone with the attention time of a gnat..

With an email like this:

{Sung to the tune of "Amazing Grace..}

Ahh-mazing grapes..how sweet the taste..that saved a girl li-ike meeee....
I once was fat... and now not-so-much....never no-ticed..but now I seeeee....


..and there have been  others...

It's Tea Time....and I know you are all NUTS for Tea Time! Come have some pistachios..

This one......

Fresh pears!!
"It is, in my view, the duty of an apple to be crisp and crunchable, but a pear should have such a texture as leads to silent consumption." ~ Edward Bunyard, 'The Anatomy of Dessert'....Or..."Eating pears cleans the teeth." ~ Korean proverb

Then this one...advertising "ice cream Sandwiches":

I scream sandwiches!!    Uh...I mean...ice cream sandwiches..come get your ice cream sandwiches!

and this one...

Today's Tea Time is in loving memory to Elvis...Bananas and peanut butter...."Just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' love..uh..peanutbutterbananas"...

And on one particularly non-creative day:

.....remember yesterday's tea time? Well.....ditto.....

Break-room clean up brings a whole new opportunity to be creative:

Tea Time will be at 2:30 today ... we will be have a mod-podge of stuff:
Watermelon
Toaster pastries
Granola bars
All the while we will be holding a "Plastic Container" adopt-a-thon!

Open your hearts and your homes to these unwanted blows, cookie sheets and pans..each one promise to bring joy and air-tight seals to your lives....

Every once in a while, of of the employees will bring something to share:

-It's 2:30 .... Let's get cake-faced!! ..brought to you in part by the Dr. Woodward 'Left-Over Cake Foundation'...

-WooHoo! The 'Snack Fairy" visited on Friday and brought us lots of good goodies! What a nice surprise! So today, it's "Cookies & Milk"...Come and get 'em..Well...give me a minute to set them out..then COME & GET 'EM!!

Sometimes it's more of a "tell 'em what holiday it is" sort of message...

Today is.... National Peach Pie Day..no, seriously..it is..but ours won't be home made...unless you live in Ream's bakery.....

Cookies & Milk Day: The mostest perfectest bestest time for ...Warm Cookies & cold milk..OK, so they're cold cookies..but if you want, I can throw an Oreo or two in the microwave...

Then one day, you find yourself just resorting to a simple ''menu broadcast":

Apples and granola bars! Tree-hugger's delight ;-D
Today's treat is Spinach /Artichoke dip with warm Facoccia bread !
Chips & Salsa !!
Cookies and/or apples :-)
Chips & Peach Mango Salsa..Ole!!
Frozen Fruity Bars..and some long-skinny-popcicle-thingies...
Ice Cream Drumsticks or 100-Calorie ice cream bars
So, how about cold milk and cream cheese brownies?
Pizza Rolls are in the toaster oven for ya...
Enjoy the shmor-gish-borg! ....no, sorry..there will be no shmores...
Tasty Taquitos To Tempt The Tastebuds!
Celery & pnut butter & celery & cheese and/or celery alone!
P-nut butter crackers & strawberries..not necessarily in that order...
Sweet Rolls for a Sweet Friday!
Peaches and Pears and Graham crackers, oh my!
WATERMELON.....no words necessary..
..Say "Cheese"! Oh, and crackers & grapes ;-D
Sweet & Savory today!
Hummus and great chips!

There's always an opportunity to educate....

It's Fruits & Fiber Day! ..And you get an Andy Rooney quote:
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."

The "cryptic/threatening" messages are always fun:

To all:
We have exactly 11 chocolate chip cookies (eleven) and ice cream - come get 'em while they're hot...and available..

..and of course, the "shirking-the-responsibility-message"....

Old Mother Hubbard.. went to her cupboard ..yadda yadda yadda..and when she got there - because she didn't have a key for the money box (for which she is not complaining - too much responsibility..) she set out:
leftover goldfish
leftover Gummy Bears
leftover Graham Crackers & P-nut butter
and..
Various {leftover} dried fruits (symbolizing her dried up ideas for making this Tea Time awesome)
Help yourselves and I should get the Tea Time Stipend soon....

So there you have it...this is precisely why they pay me the big bucks...

Wait....what??? All the checks are the same 3" X 7" size???

 ...hey..wait a minute....
-me