Monday, May 16, 2011

215 is a time of day..not a weight..

No..it's not my weight.. currently.  It was higher that that when I started (or was it later that that??  Like 10 to 3??}


I'm out of the 2's..but not far enough into the 1's to feel good..yet.

I'm not giving up, but I have to be honest..it's getting harder to keep my eye on the goal.



I eat correctly a lot.  a LOT. A really really lot.  No more sodas except the occasional diet soda about once a month..

no more red meat.  or white meat.  or meat...

no more fast food.

no more fried food.

however...show me bread...and cheese...and sweets..and I'm lost.{and...no animals were harmed in the making of M&M's...}

{and isn't it ironic that the spelling of their name is the sound you make while eating them?? Mmmmmmmm..}

I know I know..portion and you can have some of those.  But I don't want 'some'  I was a lot.  a LOT.  much.muchmuchmuch..

It's not easy.  Those who say it is are either very VERY lucky..a LOT.  Or lying.  a lot.

I get complacent.   I've lost enough for people to notice.  For clothes to fit better. For my body to move easier..but....

I know I am like an alcoholic..if I have the chance..I will stand up  to eat a cake.  Really.  I could. Not just a piece. I could polish off the whole thing. A bag of cookies..a whole candy bar..157 M&M's....

And night time is the worst. Lulu gets up a few times during the night..and I snack. I know. I know. I shouldn't.yeah yeah yeah...


But, if it were that easy, I wouldn't be where I am today. Mildly overweight.  Slightly huge.  Sorely disappointed.

As Manny on Modern Family said ..."I have finally reached my goal weight.  Now I'm working on my goal height..."

Zumba continues twice a week..



..my breakfast, lunch and dinner are in control..the Tea Time at work is a bust as is the late night snacking...

and the guilty mornings..

but, I will be strong.  We've started a "Game On" challenge at Zumba..together we will get fit, fun and fabulous..

I just need to remember that at 1:45 in the morning with Lulu...

-me

PS.....I am NOT fishing for compliments here..please...just putting down on paper..er..in blog..what struggles I am having and that we may all have.....mine just happens to be weight at the moment..

Love ya tonzzzzzz!

...Seriously, Colleen? You couldn't use another way to express rather than ...weight??? Ug..

22 comments:

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration to me. I have been at a very good weight twice in the last 10 years. Slipping up a few times can draw you in and suck you dry like the alcholic. I will not let that happen again to me and I know you won't let it happen either. You have worked to hard for too long to get to where you are today.

ain't for city gals said...

This is the time to get strong Colleen. How many times have we lost weight and then slowly but surely put it back on...we can overcome!!! It is not easy...if it was everyone would be doing it. P.S. ....I thought I was the only one that snacked in the middle of the night...I gained 10 pounds while I was puppy breaking Molliedog....never again!....Like Debbie says...it can suck you back in so easy...

Tina said...

Oh..but I have to compliment. You look great! And I am saying that because I know I will look that 'great' again too! Late nights are my struggle. I'm a smothered-in-butter dinner roll and bowl of cereal snacker. I make a point not to have either one in the house, and to go to bed earlier. It has taken me a looong time to get where I am with my weight..but I finally started to take it more serious. Now, I'm seeing a big difference! You have inspired me to keep it up!

Laurie said...

While you were on vacation Colleen, I wanted to chat with you about this very thing. I've been so discouraged, as I have to lose for health reasons and have been facing the same issues. I so admire what you've done, you're my mentor! We'll get through this, and be even more beautiful than we are now, and you are truly gorgeous my dear!! Now if I can get to "One-derland!!

Lucy (aka rharper) said...

This is such a slap in the face of life. There is no reason why they cannot create a pill IN FACT THEY PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE IT FOR THE RICH that would keep us thin. I hate it that I'm not. I was never fat until I hit the dreaded 60's and what is there about that!

Okay. I feel better. Fortunately I don't like chocolate so that isn't a problem. A nice lady from church brought me over a mother's day present: a big bowl full of Hershey's kisses. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't like chocolate. Especially Hershey's.

Kisses, anyone??

Vee said...

I so appreciate your willingness to share the battle that you and I both fight. It is NOT easy. And if it is easy for someone, I don't really want to talk to her anymore. Ha! Fight the good fight and I'm sure that you will arrive just where you want to be. (My doc put me on a diet eight weeks ago. I just went back for a re-check today. Gained four pounds. How did THAT happen? Oh I jest, I know how it happened.)

Jan said...

Well this post is something very close to my heart. I joined WW in FEB and I am now under a quarter to three for the first time in awhile! It's a tough, tough journey but I will get there! I know you will too! It is a bit like a 12 step program and we will get there one day at a time! Now if Lulu will just sleep through the night you won't have any problems at all!!! : )

eef said...

congrats on the weight loss! not sure if it would work with the plan you have, but i eat healthy 6 days a week and then on the 7th (whichever day is most convenient that week) i let myself eat whatever i want. helps if i can tell myself that i can have ____ i just have to wait until saturday. =]

Karen said...

I just found out I'm "pre-diabetic" so for the past week and a half I've been trying to be super-vigilant about what I put in my mouth. It's NOT easy! Today I congratulated myself for passing up the raspberry squares someone brought in to work because I knew we'd be having someone's chocolate birthday cake later! OY!!
PS....Lucy...whoever you are...I'll have a kiss!

diane b said...

It sure is hard work to keep at it. I have never been grossly overweight but I am heavier than I should be for my height, which is non existent. Im vertically challenged. Even trying to lose a few kilos is soooo hard. So that's why I admire what you have done even though you may not have reached your target. Remember the closer you get to your goal the harder it becomes to lose. You are probably hitting that patch.Have you tried filling up on water or snacking on apples. They take a long time to eat and keep your face busy.

Joyce said...

I have always said that I'm not too heavy, I'm just too short! Unfortunately it eventually catches up with you and now there are health issues to deal with. What is it about the evenings that make it so hard to not dive into the fridge? It is definitely the worst part of the day. It's not even hunger, it's the need to stuff oneself before going to bed. As if it's your last meal... ever. It helps to know that we don't struggle alone.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

IF it was EASY, all the weight loss places like WW, and etc... And all the make-you-exercise places like your Zumba, would have gone out of business a long time ago.

All I can say is.... Have a near heart attack and 3 stents having to be put into 3 nearly clogged heart arteries. To put the "fear of what you shouldn't eat/binge on" into you.

Believe me, it's MUCH easier to NOT eat the sweet crap and munchies and to NOT binge... After the above.

But so far, no one is *offering* heart attack scares, as a weight loss plan.

>,-)

Zuzu said...

Thank you for putting the fight into words, Colleen. I've lost 20 pounds, and even though I continued walking this winter (through the snow uphill and down), and am now walking 6 days a week, I haven't lost anymore. Diet is a four letter word for me - I really don't do very well with it. But, that's where I need to make more changes. One day at a time, yes?

Hugs,
Zuzu

freebird said...

If you are avoiding meats because of the treatment of anmimals may I say you might want to avoid chocolate too? It seems we import a lot of our chocolate from Africa where child labor/slavery is used to pick it. So children are being hurt physically and mentally to bring us our M&Ms. I just thought that might help in those wee hours of the morning.

My son says to have veggies or fruit cut up and ready for those weak moments. I'd have meringue cookies or popcorn on standby (I found if I put oil in a spray bottle and spray a bit on the popcorn as it comes out of the hot-air popper the salt sticks and the popcorn tastes better but you use a lot less fat than cooking microwave or on-the-stove popcorn.

Frankly, although I lost weight and truly felt better (no more achy joints or back pain) on a lowfat vegan diet I got so I couldn't stand to eat most of it anymore. I really admire your ability to keep at it. Kudos to you for sure!

Sharon Morrison said...

I just stumbled onto your blog and I am so happy I did. You are an inspiration and I will be follow your progress. Maybe I can get on the "wagon" as well.
Joy to you
Sharon

http://sharonssnippets@blogspot.com

Katherines Corner said...

Thank you for sharing with us. I am working on my menopause middle at the moment. I enjoyed my visit to your lovely blog. Hugs

lifeinredshoes said...

WOWSA and Holy Mackeral! You have lost a LOT of weight!
I am a failure at losing, truly a failure :(
I try, I do, and sometimes I succeed...for awhile, but longterm, not so much.
It hurts to move, sleep, walk, everything, but I love to eat and don't think about the consequences until I try to move again?

Vicki aka Jake said...

Haha, Menopause Middle! That's what I have now! Think I'll tell my fat story on the blog someday... But you keep up the good work. Hey, maybe you could share a middle of the night snack with Lulu. HER snacks! That might help curtail that problem:) And keep doing your best, can't do any more than that.

Charmingdesigns said...

aaaaah Colleen, you look Faaaabulous
You're doing great. hang in there.

Twyla and Lindsey said...

I am SO proud of you! I lost 100 lbs, 14 years ago and I am so excited for you knowing how much better and energetic you feel. It isn't always easy, but so worth it! Keep up the good work! Twyla

Holly said...

I just found you through Jo's blog and may I say, "HOLY CRAP!!!" You look flipping amazing. I can't believe that was you. Ummmm, that didn't sound very nice, I meant it to be nice. Let me try again. You have lost a ton of weight!! I didn't mean it like that either. How about, Hi, you're pretty! Glad I found your blog.

fairfieldhousenj.com said...

Colleen,

Don't beat yourself up. Look at how far you have come, my friend. Kudos! I eat whole (non processed) foods. I eat fish, chicken and red meat in moderation. I do NOT eat sugar or complex carbs. I walk daily.

Your Friend,
Deborah