Friday, November 12, 2010

so, I was wondering what I was blogging about 3 years ago..

..and I thought I share that again today...some things never change...well..maybe just a little....

November 12, 2007


You know, when God asked how I wanted to look when I grew up, I think He may have mis-understood what I said.

What I said I wanted was a flat tum and a rounded bum.

I think I must have mumbled..............or He wasn't listening.

I mean, I know He's busy, what with all that creating and having to remember the time change and everything....

Because what I actually got was a nice rounded TUM and a flat as a pancake BUM.....

Take this morning...

I knew I had good eating week-end (not in the Weight Watchers sense) but in the yummy-oh-my-I'm -so-bad sense.

However, when I tried to zip my jeans - they were, uh, what's the term.....snug.

So snug I needed to lay on the bed to zip them. You know why this works ?
Because it distributes all that good-eatin' to other places. Eeesh...

I am still amazed at the extraordinary tensile strength of the jean's material.

When I managed to get to my feet, I noticed 2 things:

1. my midriff (muffin top) spread across me like a speed bump...and ...

b. when looking down at said feet, noticed I didn't have my socks on...and I'm all about the socks....

So I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the sock drawer...
I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized blue cling wrap

I reached in, grabbed a pair, then.....

BENT OVER TO PUT THEM ON!!!!!

Have you ever seen those balloon people who squeeze the balloon and all the air goes to the top? And it looks like it'll POP?

That was my head - I thought for a moment I would loose consciousness....Eyes all buggy and face all red...

When my breath returned to my body, and the spinning stopped and my eyes went back into their sockets.........

.....I looked at Braxton & Lulu. They looked terrified.

Like, ah, "what do we do? "

"What's the number for 911?"

"Do you know how to dial??"

So, what's the lesson in all of this?

Eat less?
nope....

Practice some restraint?
nah...

Put your socks on first?

Yeppers, that's it...

(and they wonder why I wear slip-on shoes!)

Have fun and remember,

Stretch pants are my friend......
-me
ps...is that little kid trying to cop a feel????????????
 
 
So, there you have it.  ..hope you have a great Friday.....and Saturday..and OK throw in Sunday too :-)
-me

13 comments:

RH (aka Lucy) said...

I love it! :))

Ann Nichols said...

So cute!! Since I am so new to blogging I really like it when people revisit their posts! this was a great one!
Stop by and meet my new little feline love, Edward! My post today is all about him!
Blessings for a lovely weekend!
Ann

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

Yeah, it's fun to go back and look at old entries. With me, they're even on old blogs. -chuckle-

Mmmmmm, why did you ever wear pants that tight? Didn't it hurt, all day? Just asking... And not joking.

Colleen - the AmAzINg Mrs. B said...

Answer to Auntie:
They are not that tight anymore..and with jeans..they sort of s-t-r-e-t-c-h during the day..I mean, I remained conscious and all...it was line ONE HUGE GIRDLE..{for you young thin-as-a-pole gals..a GIRDLE is a mid-century torture devise most certainly invented by a man..to use extreme measures to contain flubb..um..fa..ah.."biggie-sized" tummies}

Laurie said...

through the years your consistent Colleen, a real hoot!!

ain't for city gals said...

Hey Girlfriend ,,,give yourself credit! Look how far you have come...I bet those are not the same jeans you were wearing 3 years ago! I kind of just went through the same thing...got my jeans out for winter...thinking oh these should be really loose...they are about the same...lol...I think they were REALLY tight last year so...

Karen said...

Colleen, thank you for your very sweet words. I'm feeling so sad today, but you just lifted my spirits. Thank you, again!
Karen
Ladybug Creek

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I enjoyed reading this post. It's still you 3 years later. (well not exactly since your thinner now!) Yes I do think that boy is trying to cop a feel! Have a wonderful weekend.

Pearl said...

I remember this post so well because I laughed until I ah you know? to funny. God Bless you Colleen you always lift my spirits up!

Sweet Repose-Junk Revival said...

What's worse is getting a cramp in the muffin midway into the second sock...somehow my word verification fits this scenario...PHING!!!

Have a great weekend oh crazy one, see ya next week, we'll compare buns!

Sue said...

ahhhh Colleen, I could have written this! And yes, a cramp in the ole
muffin top? Oh boy...ouch! It's even worse when the muffin top has
expanded to bundt cake size!

Wishing you a fabulous weekend!

Hugs,

Sue

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Hi Coleen, I'm a new visitor dropping in from Ann Nichols blog. Yes, I can certainly identify with you jean dilemna - happened to me too :-) ENjoyed reading some of yourv recent posts and really like the header photo too. Enjoy your weekend.

JennyMay said...

Hi Doll,
I knew when I opened your blog I was going to laugh...I wear skirts and dresses all the time because of the middle aged muffin top problem....oh well...you found a solution to the problem and didn't pass out! Good for you!

I have the same problem...large tummy, flat bum....what happened??

Kisses,
JennyMay