Isn't it amazing...

..what your children's children can teach you..

and I don't just mean how to program your DVR..or do Facebook..or order shoes on-line

But about how to live.

Really.

As some of you know, Connor has special needs - he has Asperger Syndrome - an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests...

And while I am not trying to be overly-gushy here, I feel he has special talents and reasons for being here with us all.

He has focus. Compete and total focus on things that he's passionate about.  Photography.  NASCAR. Animals. I can truthfully say he's an expert on these subjects.

His eyes light up when he speaks about them.  His whole demeanor changes. He becomes more self-assured..confident..happy.

I admire how he can let is wishes be known..with respect & dignity..

"Sounds good" or "No thanks" or "I'm good"..

He will not do what he doesn't want to do..and has no qualms about saying .."I'm good" when he doesn't want to participate in something  "I" think he'd enjoy.

How refreshing. .how honest.  No resentment..no doing what "they" want you to do or what they think you "should " want to do.

And how he holds you to your intentions and schedules.."today the Zoo" .."Wednesday the Aquarium"

He looks at the pups and at Sushi {the resident fish} and he sees them... really sees them. He's kind.  And he smiles. And he is utterly gentle and kind. to them. And they respond to him with puppy-fishy-kisses.Like they..know..and they understand. And they see him....

And to people.  Even when I can see the fear or the anxiety,  or the stress of a situation casting it's shadow over him, he responds in thoughtful  kindness.

Take yesterday.  We went to the anticipated Planet Earth Aquarium, and although I had expected more..Connor seemed delighted at the photo ops of the strange and unusual sea life on display.

But so were tonzz of loud, high pitched, unruly little kids with seemingly uncaring or unknowing  parents, pushing and shoving and stepping in front of him as he carefully set up his camera shot.

And I know one cannot control such an environment, and the little kids and their parents have also paid to get into the exhibit..

I could see, physically, that he was getting nervous.  Agitated and maybe a little frustrated.  But he said nothing. No heavy sighs or eye-rolling. No anger.

He quietly continued to try to get the shots..he moved. He backed up, stepped out of the way.

One mother saw this and said "Oh, I'm sorry.." and he quietly and graciously in a small voice said "that's OK" and he went to another part of the room..only again to be followed by the "screaming masses"..

This continued the whole time.  I'm not sure if he got one good shot. But never, ever once complained. Or whined. Or showed anger..

I worry about him being homesick..this is the first time away... and with his Mom and my son being divorced, knows us but really doesn't "know" us..

I worry that he's not speaking up for what he DOES want..Cookies? Pop?  Steak?  Vegetables? ...yeeeah..probably not.

Will he let us help him with his laundry? Does he even need help? Or reminders??

I have to get used to him wanting to be in his room..alone with his thoughts..instead of being the center of attention and all big and loud like we are...

I want to hug him..but that's uncomfortable for some with AS, so I hold back..

He's a sweet little boy in a growing teenager's body with the mind of a professor..

I tell him I love him and good-night-sweet-dreams and he says "I love you too" and my heart swells

And I have to learn to live each day like he does..simply..with no bad intentions, with no hidden agendas..with no obligation...

All the while being a sweet, gentle soul. Able to communicate with little or no words. Kind. Peaceful. Loving.

What a wonderful world it would be...

-me

PS - Connor has displayed an interest in his DNA and genealogy {!} so I am having one of our DNA consultants do a consultation on his own DNA! He'll learn so much about his ancient ancestors and his YDNA (paternal) line.  Thanks to Anna for doing this..next Wednesday..Connor- it's on the schedule! :-)